Sunday, February 7, 2010

Cerita 4

I just dont understand. My friends were just now mad at me because they called me for 7 times asking me to join them for a jamming session but I didnt pick up the phone because I was very tired and busy asleep from the evening until midnight. I didnt even hear the maximum loudness of the ringtone because my soul was somewhere drowning in some pointless dream and my body parts dont even want to cooperate. As soon as I checked my phone registry and some stupid smses, I called them back and all that I got was "bodoh lain kali orang call tu angkat la talipon" with a tremendous stress tone of mad voice. Then I was so mad due to that stupid sentence because I am a so hot-tempered after waking up from sleep but I just ignored them and end the call right away.

Why the hell did you want to create a fuss over something stupid ?

So instead of waking up freshly from the tiring sleep, I laid back again on my pillow and my bed having these mamai conversations with self asking what the hell was wrong with everything. And ended up sleeping again for about 5-10 minutes. Then I woke up again, having to repeat the "talking to self" process back.  Was it my fault?. Initially, I thought everything was just out of logical sense and things happened because they were just moronically dumb because they can't understand that a friend of them just need some rest. 

Come to think of it, why the hell am I so tired today after having so much rest for today. Maybe because of the overslept that made my body so weak. Maybe it`s because of my abnormal sleeping order. I dont know. 

Every reason revolves so much around "maybe".

For one second, I thought of these reasons that maybe makes sense. Maybe it`s because  I was getting less and less closer with these people unlike those old days. Maybe they thought that I have changed and that I dont want to meddle around with these mat rempits. Maybe I have changed so much since I moved into a big city and prefer being cold and alone because I used to loneliness. No wonder lah they said that I`ve been a kerek person lately. I have, haven't I?.

Deep down in my mind, maybe I was less of an entertainer than being a big-time loyar buruk joker that I once used to be. I just dont want to end up making stupid jokes that would offend some people. Because I know my potential to offend people easily. Maybe I have changed but they dont want to tell me that. So they made out these kind of stressed out tones as if saying that "Bodoh stakat duduk KL dah kerek nak mampos.Pergi mati la orang call pon taknak angkat". But I know that they dont even dare to spit that to me because no matter how rude these people are, they still know how to take care of a friend`s feelings. Unlike me. Woah, sounds so gay. 

Well, maybe I was just thinking too much. Maybe I`ve changed so much. Maybe I need some time alone.

I know I am not in a good shape lately. I know I am not feeling very we-hell right now.

Now I understand your weird cold quote, ayah. "Silence is the best reaction" or usually you would just say these jawa quote "Diam tu lebih baik daripada berkata-kata" to make thigns easier to understand.

And. It`s hard when you are a pathetic with god complex.