Monday, May 31, 2010

zzz 8

I have so many things to type in to blog in, but the thing is that I dont have the mood. Maybe just busy. Mybe disturbed, maybe just lazy.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Today

Ya Allah. lagi sekali sebab tertido, aku terlepas destinasi patut sampai Muar tapi sampai Batu Pahat. -_-"

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Today 2

Balasan dosa? Mungkin.
Cabaran? Mungkin.
Karma? CRAP. Mungkin juga.

Tapi semua orang tahu dosa itu sangat addictive. Mereka cuba cari jalan keluar dengan berkata "semua orang melakukan dosa".

Sebab bagi aku, dalam dosa juga ada jalan keluar.






so aku nak terus-terang dalam tenang, hati aku penuh dengan ayat ni "pukimak anjing babi dasar sial" macam bukak lagu dan ada mode "on repeat".

Today

I supposed to have an Entrepreneurship examination at 11.30am.
I woke up late at around 11.45am.
I bathed like The Flash.
I rushed to the LRT station like a mad man.
I missed a train and got into one after waiting for 10 minutes.
I arrived at my uni around 12.05pm.
I checked my wallet and noticed that I lost my examination sticker.
I felt so fucked up because I didnt study quite enough and I didnt attend my Entrepreneurship exam.
I ate at the warung like nothing is happening while on the other hand, I supposed to sit for an exam.
I felt that life is so beautiful.

At least, there is still a little regret over it.

Dont call me crazy. I am just a little bit not on the lane.

Suit yourself to call me dumb, stupid, idiot or not a good choice maker etc etc.
I know I am every one of those.


But at least, I managed to smile like a madman. Haha. Bodoh.

Ni aku tak cerita lagi masalah-masalah internal affairs dan juga masalah yang aku tahu bakal datang.

Sebab aku tau aku ni macam perempuan pergi shopping. Pegang penuh beg plastik barang belian tak cukup tangan. Tapi aku tak beli barangan. Aku beli masalah. Kadang-kadang juga ada promotion giveaway barangan free.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Malam.
Bila rindu ku bertambah dalam.

Kau datang lagi dengan kenangan.

Oh betapa rindu nya. Malam ini.


Kasih.
Bila malam ku bertambah kelam.

Seribu kisah melintas mata.

Dan malam ini sungguh mencengkam.


Bila malam, tiap kali ku pandang semalam.

Resah, ku sering menjadi dendam.

Hatiku ku rasakan dingin.


Dan malam, adalah masa yang membawa kesan.

Pada diriku yang kesepian.

Kini ku tenggelam, dibawa alunan ombak malam, oh malam.


Dan malam, jika dikau dapat bicara,
Katakanlah pada hamba.

Mengapa dia pergi. Membawa hati ini

Oh mengapa, malam?

//M Nasir - Malam





Somehow hari ini akan jadi semalam. Dan atau jika tidak dengan salam, semua orang akan pindah alam.
Selamat Malam. :]

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Story 16 Qwerty 19

Aku pernah baca satu cerita. pernah jugak lepak-lepak kat warung dengan member-member cerita pasal satu kisah teladan ni. orang memberi kita menerima. aku tak pernah buang. cuma ada conflict antara monolog orang-orang halus kat dalam otak aku dah macam ada pertandingan debat.

cerita dia pasal ada sorang budak ni panas baran suka marah. biasa la kan. orang macam2 jenis cap. ada jenis cap ayam, tuna brand, selipar jepun, samsung, winston, calvin klein, etc etc. so pasal budak ini, dia memang senang panas. bapak dia pun perasan perangai anak dia tak semenggah. so bapak dia sound dia, suruh dia ketuk paku kat dinding tiap-tiap kali dia marah orang. so dia buat apa yang bapak dia suruh.

tiap-tiap kali dia marah, dia ketuk satu batang paku kat dinding walaupun dia tau dinding tu dah kena cat dengan cat warna kuning Nippon Weatherbond, cat mahal kualiti tinggi yang warna dia ada macam kualiti warna cerita Avatar siap ada kaler 3D, tapi dia pedulik apa, dah bapak dia suruh.

sampai suatu masa, dia tengok paku tu macam cepat gila bertambah yang bermakna dia ni senang sangat marah orang dan naik angin. so dia pun try control anger dia. dia kawal. dalam masa singkat, dia berjaya kawal perasaan marah dia dan treat orang nice macam waiter restoran Perancis menjemput tetamu hadir ke restoran penuh senyuman mesra dan lemah lembut tapi tak la lembut macam bapok Jalan Raja Laut tergedik-gedik macam anjing.

dengan melihat perangai anak dia dah berubah, si bapa pun sound lagi skali "wahai anak. cuba kau cabut paku-paku tersebut". so anak dia pun amek hammer bahagian belakang so dia cabut satu persatu dan beliau yakni yang amat berhormat anak tersebut dapat melihat kesan-kesan paku kat dinding yang dicat mahal tersebut. 

bapanya berkata kepada anaknya; "lihat, nak. bapak bukan nak mengungkit sebab cat dinding ni mahal ke apa, tapi cuba kau tengok kesan-kesan dinding tersebut. paku itu melambangkan kemarahan yang kau senang lemparkan kepada orang. dan kesan cacat di dinding tersebut melambangkan bahawa walaupun kemarahan kau telah reda, walaupun mereka memaafkan kau, tetapi ingatan dan kesan itu masih ada terguris di hati mereka. bayangkan hati mereka adalah dinding ini. apa perasaan kau bila kau diperlakukan begini?"

haaa. lebih kurang camtu la jalan cite dia yang aku dengar member aku membebel kat warung padahal aku sibuk belek video hangat terbaru kat henset diorang. tapi serba sedikit aku dapat tangkap la apa yang dia cerita walaupun mata aku khusyuk mengadap skrin henset sambil minum air tembikai ais kegemaran.

so I wonder what if the story is being added up with some "what ifs".

so selang 30 hari si anak baru balik sekolah. lepas letak beg sekolah atas sofa, dia bukak ikatan tali leher dan terus berjumpa si bapak yang sedang khusyuk menonton rancangan Slot Akasial "Adamayat" di kaca telebesen.
"bapa (which is very awkward calling your dad as "bapa" because i`ve never watched or witnessed my friends calling their father as 'bapa' but they used ayah or abah but still it`s acceptable kan?), I am tired to act like a goodie goodie person because I`ve been stomped on, back-stabbed, and even humiliated for being the very smiley face you told me to be once. so instead let me tell you something that have been haunting me lately. I`ve been using your nail method but in reversed order; every time when a person was mad at me and made me so dangggggggg mad, I stick a nail respectively on our house`s toilet`s wall. and whenever I felt good and again, I pluck each of them and it seems that the cooldown is just for a very short time. For the last few days, I`ve been wondering and thinking that when I were this kind of holy creature, people can easily throw shit at me. dont argue with me about karma because I`ve been observing and noticing that karma is not fit in for the concept to live in this new world order unless you live in the so closed-up community of losers and which is very delicate and cunning and even in your era, karma had least lived its existence, if you know what I mean. so, I`m so sorry father if I cant follow your voice for now or maybe for eternity" said the anak.

(ok. tetiba je anak beranak ni speaking english kan? haha)

so the bapa replied "Now you know, I`m not the only teacher of you, dont you?"





So, who is your teacher ?


-Rfqisontheloose

Saturday, May 8, 2010

zzz

apa ni aku takleh kawal otak sendiri. haeh.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Story 15 Qwerty 18 zzz 6

Aku bukan apa. Bukan nak berperangai macam pukimak celaka haram ke apa. Tapi memang terus terang aku cakap aku rindu zaman-zaman kegemilangan kita dulu. Aku faham memang ada hidup masing-masing. Tak kesah. Itu benda yang aku paling tak kesah kalau kita nak split masing ke utara masing ke selatan, timur, barat, tengah-tengah segitiga bermuda, celah makcik timah pun aku tak kesah. Tapi yang aku kesah bila orang mula lupa diri dah ada kuasa dok tunjuk belang. Taring tumpul nak tunjuk sinar. Otak ada tapi macam letak simpan kat rumah bawah katil dok berhabuk. Umur makin tua patut sedar bab mana kau kene banyak baca tapi ni buku kau tinggal rumah membodohkan diri jalan mendada. Janji pun membeku kau simpan dalam plastik merana dalam peti ais yang kau samekan dengan ikan dan daging yang berbau hanyir kat dalam freezer.

Mana? Mulut busuk bau benda pekung, dulu keluar janji kini kau letak setaraf dengan sotong?

Atau aku yang silap? Kalau aku silap, tegur aku depan-depan bukan dok amek pisau gillette kau dok carik-carik daging aku kat belakang senyap-senyap. Takpa, aku try simpan bau daging aku mereput bercarik-carik. Tolong lah jadik macam aku kalau aku ada buat silap, ambil air lada satu cawan pekat simbah muka aku tepat. Kau pun tahu aku cemana.

Atau mungkin aku yang berubah? Dok pergi merantau tempat orang, balik jadi lain orang.

Dalam situasi ni penat puas aku fikir separuh tahun aku perit asyik fikir. bila malam nak tidur tak boleh sebab otak bising hati menjerit tapi last-last aku giveup aku abaikan dan cuba try jalan mendada sebab aku ada teman yang lain susah senang ada. tapi tak kira cemana aku still try selamatkan kawan-kawan yang jadi bakal jadi bekas-kawan. tapi kau otak dok terkunci macam pintu besi aku dah penat suruh kawan-kawan lain gerudi, hack pin code carik jalan untuk selamati, tapi tetap jumpa jalan mati.

jangan sampai aku jadi bom. ok aku memang dah meletup sebelum ni. ok silap. lagi sekali aku betulkan, jangan sampai aku jadi bom atom. sekali aku meletup orang kawasan jauh boleh cacat.

Story 14

"Why did you move that horse chess piece?" Nurul asked Razmi. Razmi was playing chess with his friend, or he would prefer considers her as an arch-enemy, in chess. Razmi replied to Nurul "this is a plan and one of my tactics to win this game, dummy", replied with a serious face, trying to show that he was concentrating for the game. Nurul nodded and smile innocently.

Nurul is a 7 years old kid, a neighbor of Razmi. Razmi`s opponent, Hanida is the same age as he is, but she is a little bit matured and more friendly, so happy-go-lucky type.

"Eh kak Nida, why did you move that piece?" said Nurul. Nida smiled instead, saying "you know, in a game like this, players must move their piece in order to defeat their opponent. so, i`m moving this Queen in order to check  his King, making his pieces paralyzed in order to save the King. hopefully I can checkmate though".

"What is checkmate?"-Nurul. "Can you shut up please?" Razmi yelled. Nurul startled. "Relax, Mi. She`s just a kid. Maybe furiously curious. We were once like that, kan?. Relax lah. I bet you`re so stressed to win me. teeheheee" Hasnida interfered with a quick bossy face and a teasing face. Razmi`s ego burned up because he felt so challenged with that sarcastical teasing look. Nurul quickly went behind Nida`s back scared, apologizing.

After 27 minutes playing, Razmi had to face the truth. He lost to Nida. With an angry face, he went to Makcik Salmah`s stall nearby and bought a plastic bag full of ice-cream. "Take this. Your reward. Like I promised, it`s my treat. You can take it too, Nurul" said Razmi.

Finished eating the whole bunch of ice-cream. They gathered back to that pondok and started to arrange the order back for each chess pieces, starting a new game.

"Why are you two doing?" - Nurul. "Play chess lah. Nak buat apa lagi dengan board chess ni." said Razmi.

"But why?" Nurul replied.

"Sayang, we`re playing a new game. Seems like Razmi cant get enough of defeat. (with a cynical laugh) And because we wanted to see the mistakes we made in our steps. We would try to repair the errors, if we could" - Hasnida











I guess, people do something for special reasons, dont they?
And sometimes, even if they dont have any reasons to do that something, they could create one to make their life a comedy drama. Arent they?

Do they?


-Robot