Saturday, July 31, 2010

Story 28 qwerty 28

I`m relieved to know that all those hatred are for me. Not a sarcastic sentence, I seriously am.

Swallowing all those prejudice. Swallowing these words through boredom. Relieved.

Because one day, even with or without your knowledge, if you know the real deal out of the story and between my bargain with those dirts, I know you will thank me for that. But I`m glad just to know that you`re smiling now rather than watch you in a gloomy state.

And then, I would be dying to know your answer to "what happens if you`re, me?"

This is. Always. Always will be. For respective everyone's good.

I know you cant read me.

That`s why I`m explaining the description of myself.

I know you cant read me.

Friday, July 30, 2010

but you yourself are nothing so divine

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Story 27



this was actually a song i got from my friend that he got from his ex-girlfriend.and now I`m listening this for another fairy love tale for another friend. haha. you know who you are.

I hope the roses wont stop blooming.

p/s: good luck. :)

Saturday, July 24, 2010

qwerty

“You have no idea with what affection I am surrounded here, they are not all out to catch the drops of oil my brain sweats out,” - Einstein

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Story 26

Newsflash. ceh tak pasal-pasal. haha. lately I`ve been so longing with some friends. just got back from Pahang with some mates. had a great time and laugh. of course, who wouldn't laugh if your car's tyre explode on the middle of the road in a trip to Jengka Pahang while listening to Siti Nurhaliza's songs. And dont forget about D'lloyd and Bee Gees. haha.

then as I expected, lepas balik je ke KL, dah start rasa macam sial punya rindu celaka punya tak puas hati. and now I`m releasing a bit of the feelings in this blog with a big reality sigh and a big shining smile. almost all of my friends are going to end their diploma InsyaAllah around the end of this year. come to think of it, if I stayed there, of course I would be the same too. okay you could sense a bit jealousy in the air. haha. takpa lah. benda dah lepas, asyik kenang-kenang buat sakit hati pun dapat faedah juga. dapatlah habuan sakit hati.

then during the last Monday, I dreamed of something funny. My right hand was broken somewhere around my biseps. That was the first case. The second was, I dreamed of meeting an old friend of mine, although we`re not that close anymore, during a rainy night, carrying her luggage and plastic bag as if she just went back from shopping. Fyi, I am a superstitious person. I believe that something is going to happen after flashing all those certain scene of my sleep travelling journey. I even believed that something is going to happen if my right eyes or my left eyes and also some part of my bodies are blinking, becoming itchy, and trembling without any of my original controls. And yes, at some point, it really does becoming true.

Remember this? : http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2009/10/secret-sign-of-happen.html

Okai cut that out. As I said,  "I`ve been so longing with some friends". Not just the close one ATM, the truth is, I miss most all of them. I guess, "I am just a life passing by you". An old quote that I love so much.

My egos were stepped down a bit to say this because this came from my stupid silly heart while my brain is giving me the green light to let this to be typed into this very weird blog. I miss all of you. Do remember me will you.

Bye.

qwerty 25

Same view. Same angle. Same eyes. Different time. Different moment. Different feelings. Different expressions.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Qwerty 24

that face is too bad for you? well. become a person that it looks good on.

I`m lucky just to linger in your life

A good old song. Oh you make me smile.


Sunday, July 11, 2010

Qwerty 23

wishes aint easy. you need to think about things you need the most and then your heart will cried out loud saying that "I really Fing need that right now". and then most of the time you will get a slap by the brain that was yelling "ah come on STFU can you stay buried in reality?"

You should get comfy on the pillow that you lied on everynight.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

story 25

well back to my diary. i guess blog is a new kind of diary. but it`s also some kind of a new high tech psychological weapon too. because an ordinary diary should be read only by the writer, not by others.

and some people could make what writers wrote in their diary as their vulnerable point. dont blame that some. blame that writer.

well as for me writing in this so called diary.

for now, my mom got transferred back to my hometown leaving me alone. but at least the bright point is that my sisters' and my father's life would be easier with her being there. not only my father could send them both to tution, school, etc etc, now, my mother could help by splitting his duties too. and i am living alone in this rm1000 per month rent house alone. and sometimes some friends visit me here.

i told my parents to buy me a motorcycle so that i could go here and there at kuala lumpur easily. and so that i could transfer living in some low-cost college renthouse with my friends. even i offered them to buy me a vespa. but waiting for them to buy me one is like waiting an aeroplane on the LRT rail station. but that was them. the parents that are so hard-headed with their thoughts. no wonder i am one.

oh and btw, dah boleh buat party buih kat rumah aku. jemput datang. AHAHAHAHAHA


ok thats all. bye.

Friday, July 9, 2010

zzz 13 story 24

This is a cliche. Yes. I`m tired. Thinking. Imagining. Wondering. WHYing. Of all people, why cant people around me not being so out of themselves?

Well okay. Please imagine I`m a 5 years old boy, staring a cow, eating grasses. Err yeah my sentences next will sound very much like I was high on drugs but let`s just continue to the phase before the credits roll.

I am a 5 years old boy. I am staring a cow. and come to think of it, 5 years old is a number of age when a small human with penis could not think really rationally but AT LEAST 5 years old kids have a base of thoughtful thinking.

"Oooohhh it`s fun watching a cow eating grasses. Hmmm come to think of it, why cant it eat rice. Why cant it drink it`s own breast milk, just like us, it could be healthy drinking it`s own milk that is full with nutritions just like mom gave me. Why can't it walk with only it`s two legs, why does it needs to walk with four. Why cant it use the near-the-head-legs as hands to grab some grasses and eat?. Any reason why they cant drive a car with their hands? They could make a whining sound but they cant laugh? They cannot talk, it cant be true because I thought they sounded just like Elvis."





Then, I stopped the wondering part. Thus, I started the thinking part.

"Maybe. Maybe these cows are human. They just wanna act eating grass so that people pity them. so that people would give them shelter, feed them, play with them. I believe that they are human because they could move. They could breed. They have eyes, mouth, nose too, just like me. I bet it`s true. Maybe they are ashamed of admitting themselves that they are human and then they wear a suit so that people wont recognize them. Maybe they are poor, dont have any money even to live, then they wear a disguise as a cow. Yeah, that`s it. They are human!"

Day after day I stalked that cow. Trying to caught them red-handed for being in a disguise of a cow and even threatened to kill them if they dont show the human-form of them. But all that the cow do were just moo-ing.

okay sorry I forgot to tell you that this story is a 18PL rated and contains violent and moral issues because the continuing story I`m about to tell you is somewhat disturbing considering me, a 5 years old kid involving in a violent issues and he harms a cow (JUST IMAGINARY IN THIS STORY, FOOL. No animals were harmed during the progress of this story. Dont come to my house one day with a lawyer and sue me for harming a God`s creature).

So, again, day after day I started to getting tired to believing that those cows are just human in cow suit in disguise. I even threaten the cow to start acting like a normal human should or else I will slit them with a knife. But too bad, that stupid human in cow suit only scream "moo" repeatedly acting like not-a-human. So I slit them with a knife. And all I could see was blood gushing out and that stupid cow kicked me. Quite hurt a bit. Then, although I am a 5 years old, you should know how a kid`s anger without a mom to control them because my mom were not anywhere near me at that time, she was doing the house`s laundry. I slit that cow`s throat like a Japanese samurai and it lied on the ground breathing with blood all over the place and I keep stabbing the cow asking and shouting it to stop pretending as a not-human. Too bad. I was wrong. Because...

I guess animals were and are created by God just like us basically, to eat, live, breed. But they dont have the extra mind to think more intellectually and independently and other stupid etc etc -lly.

Come to think of it, animals, especially the species in this story, cows, do not act like human. They were created like that because God wanted them to.

The conclusion is, I dont know what the conclusion is.

At least, animals act honestly of what they do because they are animals. They dont copy the acts of human.

But on the other hand, the creature in this world that was so called "perfect" named as human, some of them would want to act like animals. How tragically ironic is that?.

I know you wont, cant, wouldnt, shouldnt, or didnt understand this. I cant even understand all of this too, ironically. But at least I could still spark some laugh out of reason in front of my laptop. yawn. bb.

ok here as I promise. the credits roll........

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Story 23

Things are pretty weird happy lately.but although I`m facing a hard time with my subjects this short semester and end up not going to the classes because of my thick laziness.and money seems to evaporate so suddenly.I think I`m going to end up very shitty this semester. oh by the by, a bestfriend of mine got into some contract learning and working for the government. Some of others were in their last semester for their diploma and renting a house outside of the university, which I could kill some time by going to their bungalows. and I went to my ex-university area last few days.

It`s funny when you`re in a place of hell and flashing back every memories and pain you went through like the invincible lights from the projector that some Warung Mamak use to broadcast on the white screen of some football match.

That is why sometimes I get the sick feelings of not going to stay there for a long term. That "there" I meant, was that place of hell.

But to short things up, everything is fine. Smiles are put back onto their faces. Real friends took their role.

and I get a helpless feelings of something inside told me to find a steady girlfriend.because I found A LOT of girls err i mean my junior err sorry i mean a lot of uitm students there are so 'F'ing attractive. SHIT.I WANT ONE.

OK BYE. haha.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I felt

a musician always has another musician in them
a politician always has another politician in them.
a father always has another father in them.
a friend always has another friend in them.
a driver always has another driver in them.
a teacher always has another teacher in them.
a designer always has another designer in them.
a sick person always has another sick person in them.

and.

a lover always has another lover in them.