after around 2 weeks of ramadhan, a good friend of mine we called him as Cicak and me returned back to my hometown for some "rasa berpuasa di kampung halaman". this is a conversation i get after hanging around during afternoon eating murtabak in some random tak-puasa port
Cicak: kau puasa penuh bot?
Me: tak.stakat ni kemajuan beb 7 hari je aku puasa.
Cicak: haritu kan time first ramadhan, aku nekad sia nak puasa.
Cicak: ye la kan.aku siap dah sahur makan megi 2 paket, sumbat nasi goreng kat warung then hafal niat berpuasa dalam masa 5 jam before azan subuh
Me: gila kapir sial kau nak hafal niat berpuasa je dah makan 5 jam.
Cicak: haha.pastu esoknye aku puasa.
Me: ni lawak bodoh mana kau kutip ni?
Cicak: sabo la bodoh orang tgh cakap kau potong.
Me: ahahaha ok ok. patut la harini kau tak puasa, rupanya kau period pastu kau nak emo kat aku plak
Cicak: haha pastu aku keranda (tido) sampai esok petang pukul 4 setengah aku bangun sbb shift kerja aku start pukul 7 malam. aku pasang la rokok isap sambil bukak tb
Me: ahahaha bangang dah pukul 4 kau berenti puasa. ke kau ikut mazhab sesat
Cicak: (tahan ketawa sampai tutup muka pakai tangan) hahaha pastu aku tgh hisap-hisap rokok tu tetibe ada iklan ape ntah tb3. bapak die! dia cakap "selamat menjalani ibadah puasa".
if you dont laugh after reading that story, please just accept that as a plain stupid story and not as a joke that didn't successfully become a joke.
well, today is the fifth raya. a death passed by to a father of a friend of mine, and alhamdulillah, here is a story of why I`m saying that holy word:
I worked at a lemang stall where I would consider as helping out a friend of mine and his father because I was looking for work experinces of being stressful and emotional and also busy filling up my empty times in Ramadhan before raya and plus, they need an extra hands for their business.
There it goes. Smooth but rough. Kinda stressfull because I was too sloppy, slowpokey, lumpy and a lot sum of stupidity goes around. I kept being shouted at from his father as whom i would call him a BOSS (no, not that LIKE A BOSS video) which makes me feel so uncomfortable and irritated and eventually turned into a minor heart explosion.
Boss: pakcik dah kata dah ang pi wat lagu tu buat apa
Me: eh abestu dah nak buat cemana, dah saya standby prepare yg lelain, pakcik plak tido terbongkang daripada pukul 2 sampai pukul 4(buat muka blur)
Boss: aku dah habaq kat ang lain kali prepare awal-awal ni tengok kan dah kalut semacam customer ramai tapi barang tak siap lagi. ni cemana nanti ang kerja. ni baru kerja buat lemang, nnt belum ang kerja opis lagi.ni lemang aku suruh ang siapkan bubuh la beras pulut siap-siap ni beras pulut pun tak basuh lagi.
Me: laaa masalahnya mana satu tau sukatan nak bancuh santan semua (then diam sbb dah berangin sangat and trying to find an excuse to escape)
Boss: aku dah pesan dah kerja ni bukan memain. aku ajar ni pun bukan untuk aku, aku ajar kerja ni pun untuk kau jadi anak jantan, untuk kasi anak bini hang makan. ni lepas ni aku dah takda dah.
Me: (diam sambil merempan masukkan daun pisang dalam buluh then pegi basuh beras)
at first, i would just ignore what he said because i thought it was just a small silly chitchat nagging from an old man. but then, after he passed away on the fifth Syawal morning, I reminiscent all of those things that he said. and seriously, i felt kinda sad and sayu because if i knew he was going to Rahmatullah a bit later, I would just make things easy and prepare them accordingly to make a bit of his last dayys very easy. but as you know, "in the end, it`s the what ifs that hurt the most".
I had the oppurtunity to salam raya and minta maaf salah silap to him during the night of raya which I said these words "pakcik saya nak balik rumah siap-siap esok pagi nak raya dan saya mintak maaf lah cik sbb terkasar bahasa, gurau kasar, atau terkurang ajar kat pakcik. minta maaf jugak saya memang slow sikit dan lembab tapi saya dapat banyak benda kerja dgn pakcik" and then he says "takpa lah. takde benda lah. selamat hari raya (with a very calm and honest face).
A few days later during the second to fourth Syawal, he was ill and caught in a cold and fever. slept like a tired very man. I get a chance to see the last of him during the fourth night of Syawal, a scene where he was very calm asleep tiredly and I didn't want to disturb him sleeping, I just lit a cigarette and had a chat his son, a friend of mine.
And the reason that I said Alhamdulillah above is because, I have approved for his apology and I am sure that he passed away very calm, like a death sleep.
Pada kesempatan ni, meminta ihsan untuk menyedekahkan Al-Fatihah untuk arwah Azahar B Osman.
and you should know, there's a reason Syawal month and these asking for apology tradition was created.
Selamat Hari Raya, Mohon Kemaafan Zahir Batin jika ada salah silap. because I know I have made some well-made defects to some of you. after all, i`m an ordinary human making sins as a routine.
and this short note is for Luna, did you remember you texted me with "Death" theme of trivial questions smses during the second/third last day before Raya? thanks for testing me those. I`ve felt the proves of truth behind my answers in some of it. some others are still unknown.
again, Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin.