Monday, February 28, 2011

story 52

wanted to share that this thing has been overflowing overloading with genius ideas and creativities. a good source of laughters btw. go grab some.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

story 51

its pretty calming when you`re stranded in a low temperature hotel room  with your father for 3 days. today is the second day, and i`m looking forward to it. i`m kidding, no, its superbly insane. i sometimes wish i could jump off from this 25 storey building without my bodyparst splattered here and there, just for the sake of killing this boredom.

and its weird when you have used to all that noises, and then suddenly you`re trapped in an empty silent box but you could still hear something humming, and whatever sound you create, shall echoes.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


I posted this yesterday. and then I hide it back for some reason. and then i feel the need to post this back and fuck what other people say, and speak to self that what's past has passed and is past and i didnt even tremble like a dick anymore

and again, i felt so stupid. i thought ive stopped being an animal. and tonight, is the night i wish to forget. tonight, i even tremble with regrets, even when i typed in these words with this stupid keyboard. tonight, i even wish i could forget this nickname of robot. tonight, these fists are more talkative than my mouth. tonight, i wish to rewind back time, instead of puching someone else like a dummy, the one i really would like to punch is myself. with a mixed up feelings, i'n telling myself this: how weird things were and are, when you`re coming back to senses.

and I am so sorry, this head has been filled with regrets and some fire of counsciousness,

even philosophers noted that counsciousness has been difficult to define

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

story 50

And this is why I love Wardina. ok lepas gaduh-gaduh kecil dgn Lisa Surihani, dia dah tak kisah dah aku minat Wardina. ceh haha

and this is why I'm starting to to hate my studies, and one day, I get a feeling I`m gonna hate my job with those codings, codes, variables, strings, booleans, integers, apelancau semua because I will be glued in front of the computer with no sense of emotion and all at all.

One year left then Im out fucking some companies, hopefully. Wait, I have a vision I'm gonna dressed up like a total geek with a 15 inches thick lense of spectacles, with Clark Kent hairstyle, shiny black shoes, ties and collars and fine bundle suits, embracing mounting boards and server databases plans, while holding a torn broken up keyboard after hitting up some people's faces.

Or perhaps I have some other 'going on a wrong' way plan.

And, this may sound so selfish, but I never knew another worse black sheep for the rest of my life, that is me myself.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Lets do some Cobain tribute, I must

among the 3rd last paragraph of his suicide note:

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

His influencial quotes I copied and paste after Googled up on it:

I bought a gun and chose drugs instead.

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are

I was looking for something a lot heavier, yet melodic at the same time. Something different from heavy metal, a different attitude.

I ain't got no watchamacallit 

and the most important quote of all I get to hold on to it since I was 15, but then I got slipped with Gerard Way and gothicy stuff haha. and I kinda envy him because he's a left-handed person, but he could use both of his hands to play guitar, with the hollowy raw voice and the genius brain to produce weirds unique riffs and lyrics :

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

after all, he's been a great teacher

Happy 44th birthday, Cobain.

and, buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih. 

"Im goin where the cold wind blows"


Saturday, February 19, 2011

qwerty 48

ever had repeating echoing voices of "I wish I could" ?

Friday, February 18, 2011

zzz 14

and now I`m exhausted like hell, with these educational bullshit problems.

truth to be told, i`ve studied on both Government Uni and Private Uni

to me, both of our standards are......... no I'm wrong. there are higher standards for going to the well-known gov uni. because u know, its cheaper (what are smart malaysian without "cheaper") and after all, could easily be recognised.

but based on my experiences, and also many other pets of mine, other than the students' problems, there is administration.

us, the private uni (yeah i`m talking about me and my friends) students, are suffering from these marking up or gillette cash problems. whenever something goes wrong in the admin, you know, like they ran short of money to facilitate apelancau to accomodate apelancau, they would fail a few students (they are smart, they fail those who are dumb) and then ask them to sit for another final examinations, and if we fail again, they would make us sit for the same class for another semester for youknowwhatcost.

me? i`m sitting for another Networking Principles referral examination and i deserve it because i did so bad last time, the night before the examination i went to Dataran Merdeka for sightseeing watching rempits and mat car showing off their vehicles. i deserve it stfu gtfo

and what is weirder is that we need to have some kind of good relationship with lecturers so that we could pass those exams with good results. what is this? Diploma for Sucking Up? Bachelor in Licking Ass Management? I once did well on Java or Object Oriented Programming, outcomes and exams, and after fucking my foreign lecturer's mind, I get a C-. I know some of you would think I would suggest this "Where is the love?" song by Black Eyed Peas but you know you`re half wrong and fully right.

and then there is this main campur-branches problems such as; I`m studying in this branch of Lickass College, whenever there is a problem, and I go to the admin, they would give this as a response "Sori aaa ini kepala tak kasi i buat camtu. I orang bawah, dah lah orang bawah, kita punya ni branch saja so I kena stick to the orders of orang atasan" and after a few gertak with using this so-called Igotthepowwa "I will refer to the Kementerian Pendidikan u punya administration macam sial", then they would go "Oh okay okay I will do what I can" and then everything goes a-okai.

What is this bullshit? is this even an education institute or a money sucking up banking institute?

too bad, us students, even me, didnt dare to stand up, because our future and life depends greatly in this bullshit.

is it just me or those with authorities from before, made us chained in this pathetic situation.

mcm frimason probably, taknak kasi rakyat bising bersuara, they would conquer those with powers and made some rules so that people would go stfu and fill nation's mouth with kapas 6kg so that whatever sound or yell they made, would turn into a sissy small cricketty sound, not even another creature could hear, so that they could manipulate and discriminate people around freely.

pity us. our parents' mind have been set to give us good educations, while they are attracted only to our wallet. and our parents' wallet.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

qwerty 47 story 49

"alah orang tengah baik, semua benda dia buat memang wangi. nanti bila dah tak baik, semua jadi macam taik.orang camni memang tak boleh pakai" Kamal Kasman dan Norhaida Ujang.

so I wonder "'pakai' tu macamana" dalam hati.

"sori afiq tak reti nak pakai-pakai orang ni.sebab Tuhan cipta manusia ni daripada sperma dan benda apa ntah dalam faraj. bukan manusia dicipta daripada kilang plastik dan tisu span semua untuk jadi lampin pakai buang utk perempuan period. so boleh explain sikit pakai tu macamana bu?" - self

"pakai ni macam..." - ibu

"alah macam afiq jugak. bila berduit buat taktau je, tapi bila nakkan sesuatu macam duit, baru nak datang kat ayah ibu" - ayah menyampuk

"ahahahahaha apasal kejam sangat? so kira ni afiq dapat lesen mintak duit kat ayah ibu even klao time afiq berduit la eh? hhahaha BELIKAN VESPA SATU PLIS" - self

"amboi *mata jeling sengih-sengih kat ayah*" - ibu

knowing them, they wont label me as "tak boleh pakai punya anak" unless i do some serious shit to them.and till now, i think i havent, thank God. and i dont want to bother explaining to them. because I have a head just like them, and probably they have a good understanding head knowing what their clone had in mind.

this also applies to everyone else. just let people label you as what they want.
i`m fine with that. no. i`m fun with that. fun.

and you know, i dont want to bother explaining.

i dont want to bother explaining.

Friday, February 4, 2011

story 48

those offensive posts before especially this one; , lets just say, they prove something. after that being settled, then again, let me say again, I am so sorry. because I dont know things are going to be this so called 'drama'. haha.

i guess we're just kids when we committed those both irrational and rational stuff. we are men when we settle things down face to face on a table. the conclusion is, there's always a culprit. and doubts.

sorry again.

I guess, I can be available always to fill in those empty antagonist spot.