Monday, March 28, 2011

a bit gay post - story 56

Some people used to be so simple. When I was a kid, I have an ambition to become a doctor, because my parents used to teach me that, and because I love to repair and fix things not matter mechanically, electronically, or or biologically. And also because my mother loves asking me to put handy-plaster whenever she gets a cut slicing fish or veggies. That was me, during my childhood.

After that in lower secondary school, I thought that it's good to become a teacher because a teacher of mine used to come to class and sleep on the teacher's desk or babble around about something out of our syllabus. And I felt that it's good for me to become a teacher, because I could come to work and have a dirty chit-chat with my students. hmmmmm sounds fun.

Then, during upper secondary school, I got drowned in music. that was good. but then I started to get a hold on musical instruments. and that was when I started to lost myself. I kept telling myself that I wanted to be a musician. And that was when I were in a phase called "hyper-pathetic". I did those bundle of 10 exams very badly because I came to exam and sleep for the first 30-minutes and then answered those paper cincai-ly. And also because, I cant get a hold of patience on getting freedom and ending the school era.

And then I involved myself in business during matriculation. I managed a business of a friend of mine and I started to liking it and produced "Aku nak jadi bisnesman lah sial", selling cigarettes and some food and also some things. That was when I, no, us a big number of team of friends of mine developed on how to be conman, by running away from administration, getting chased by security guards, and other problems we caused, we could escape that easily although at times, it needs a lot of perseverance, loyalty, respect, and also being cunning. That made me make a conclusion, businesses have always been a big headache. unless if you`re seriously good in managements, laws, looking awe-dary and street smart.

I stopped that phase, continuing on and moving on. I get 2 interviews of TESL (teaching english as second language) and Sarjana Muda Senibina from UiTM Lendu and UiTM Larkin. but I failed because I didnt do the interviews very well; I dont know how to speak in English very fluently and my drawing skills have been blunt, and because I leave those things for so long, I'm not even sure how to start again. still I thought I deserve another chance. Moving on again.

Next (as expected), as I said, I deserve another new chance. I went into a university continuing on civil engineering. Highlight: and this was when I also met some few good people, too, again. At first, it was good. I even wanted to be a Contractor or an Architect or even an IR Engineer. and then a few things happened, this and that occurs making it a 'my phase of great depression and mental illness'. And dont be ridiculous, I`ve been everywhere, done that, did that, burned that, vandalized that, penetrated some heavy load of bullshits, sighing smiles with 5 shoulders whom I dont even know who they were before that, sacrificing for 5 people who used to be a complete strangers before that, and then, I quit that university. No, dont get me wrong, this is not a mengungkit session. This is a moment of reminiscing, making me eternally remember who used to back me up during my ups and downs with a heavy weight on my shoulders. They helped me carry it, though, making those heavy things lighter.

Let's just stop until that part.

And this post is for you. You know who you are, a friend who have been dealing with great heavy things and great drama, and I've been a villain in it once or twice. This is your turn. Sorry I never functioned as a 'grown-up and matang' in our group, instead, I functioned as a happy looking jasper. And as you said, there's a side of everyone that they dont make it naked everyday. And this is a side of me that I need to speak out loud, so that you dont get me wrong as if I've been forgetting all those memorable things from the past. After all, there are many sides of me I've been transformed into, but I never show it much. Everyone is respectively a larva and a chameleon, you know it that much.

Life used to be so simple, kan. Sorry I failed terribly at being an optimistic. Sorry aku takde time kau tengah down. And sorry again sebab aku percaya orang buat fitnah pasal kau.

Although kita dah split lain lane, tapi kita still boleh jumpa balik kat next stesyen yg sama kan? Peh penat sial aku ajar kau pasal stesyen LRT dulu kat KL. haha

And if you think God puts you in the wrong place, think again. Errors were made by us. If you feel that you`re in the wrong place, please blame yourself, dont blame God. Again, If you feel that you`re in the wrong place, then, make things right.

Cakap pasal errors, aku sebenarnya ada kata-kata philosophy pasal errors, life dgn binary codes 1010101010 tp better aku leave it out for next time. hahah.

Sounds a bit gay-ish, dont you think? Haha you know I`m gonna end things up with a little silly joke. After all, aku memang tak reti nak jadi matang.

We should put out a calculator and count up how many times have I been serious. And trust me, close people around me have always said that they dont like a taste of me being so serious. kau sendiri cakap camtu kan? :]

And i`m not gonna be active in blog for a while. till then, see you when another problem comes up.

And dont be so depressed. We respectively have all been scattered here and there, but you know, wait until the jigsaw puzzle complete. And kalao nak nangis, nangis je lah. "Tak payah nak simpan dalam" - bak kata ajwad. hahahahah. And you should just move on. Bye.

"and dont get me wrong. neither dont get me right. but get yourself first"

Thursday, March 24, 2011

q 55

and irony is somewhat a salt.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

qwerty 54

Examining something they dont know, labelling a name on them, placing either true or false descriptions on them, making experiments proving the truth until there's no other characteristics left behind. Simply saying, That's what scientists do.

What did you do? I failed not once not twice but many times. many.

Celaka punya many.

I have a penis, I can't give birth but I could make someone give birth. But what's weirder is that many doesnt even have any sex organ, but they could give birth.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


after numerous times of reflection thought, lets erase this post contents that was full of mockery. too bad isnt it? let's replace with new one:

and how's your life lately? Is it good? Is it not? If it's not , then I feel sorry for you. Because you are so 'otai', you are a hero, even I. am afraid of you.

let's end this post with a long laugh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

psychotic isnt it?

I know someday one day, my words, maybe, are going to stab me back right on the face, but let's just blame the timing, the clock, because it put you overlapped with the circusmtances, your stupidity, the moment itself, and you yourself, making you a victim.

I've been once, and waiting for my turn. In fact, everyone has get the taste of being one.

Be a man, instead of a dog who leave shits everywhere leaving burden to other people. After all, arent you so smart? Tak perlu mengemis pendapat orang? Yeah you are smart, but I`m getting tired. I`m tired.

as promised,


- by a boy who works as a cleaner, cleaning your footsteps. dont tell me you dont read this, because I`m tired typing it, appreciate my effort please, after all, you've been enjoying coming to my area and copying everything. sorry, i forgot. you've been enjoying coming to everyone's area, copy everything, and then left with shits here and there. Good luck in life, sporadic dog.

Monday, March 21, 2011

A loop. In computer language, do you know what a looping processes consist of?

and why the hell do I always bother to start to think about some rest when the weekend has already ended.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

qwerty 52

Worms have been so weak, they never realise they have gotten so strong.

and every day i wonder how other people look at a tomato

Monday, March 14, 2011

Imargerine 7

Have you ever heard of "Crepuscolo Sul Mare" song? It's in Italy, meaning "twilight on the sea" based on Google Translate.

You could download the track from here by the way.

Listening to that song, you know there's an unexplainable mixed feeling, gushing here and there. And I wish I could explain it with words, but I`m failing with words and vocabs lately, greatly.

And yeah, its a soundtrack from one of my favourite movies, Ocean 12,from when Brad Pitt first met Catherine Zeta Jone, while running away from the police.

And you know, I`m planning on something to hit your ears, later.

So, later :-)

//updated: 16032011

and, this is your later

Saturday, March 12, 2011

qwerty story

Thumbs Up.


Thursday, March 10, 2011

la lala lala

Yeah I know, this is a parody of "OutKast - Hey Ya!" but as Chris Rock sings, this vc is a cracker.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Sunday, March 6, 2011

st 53

and my left eye has been blinking for quite some moment. i`m not even sure, but let's lit up some ciggies.


Jal jangan givap, jal. kamonnnnnnnn aku paan ajwad ada je ni ha utk lempang muka kau then cakap 'jangan givap'. haha. jangan jadi bodo.

and aku taknak nnt one day aku cerita kat anak kau "dulu bapak kau givap sebab benda bodoh je". ni bukan celaka berotak yg aku kenal.

Go Jal.

p/s: i`m not in the suitable place to talk, tapi betulkan niat jal. carik aku bila kau dah pikir masak2.

Do you know

Do you know you could turn on "Auto Repeat" on Youtube by typing FAST in front of the URL

such as;

to turn on Auto Repeat, adding "fast" in front of the url like this:

Btw enjoy the Song For Dan Tracy by MGMT

p/s: This sucks. because its no longer functioning. :[ 10/03/2011

Thursday, March 3, 2011

qwerty 50

Sitting on a bench in a park alone whistling is enough to make people stare at you.

Watching someone sitting on a bench in a park alone whistling. What would you do?

I`m not your psychiatrist of this post. You yourself are.