I am on crack and I blog

qwerty 62

2011-05-01T20:38:00.000+08:00

Since there has been some war of principles, let's put our trust on another thing : Faith.

I stand on my ground. I bury my feet. :D

Story 65 Imargerine 11 Qwerty 61

2011-04-28T08:44:00.010+08:00

CLICK HERE FOR THE AUDIOSLAVE COVER VERSION
I'm gonna fight 'em all
A seven nation army couldn't hold me back
They're gonna rip it off
Taking their time right behind my back < heh

And I'm talking to myself at night
Because I can't forget
Back and forth through my mind
Behind a cigarette < and hot tea :)
And the message/feeling coming from my eyes
Says leave it alone < (Problem?) ;D

Don't want to hear about it
Every single one's got a story to tell < HELL YEAH, MORON
Everyone knows about it
From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell

And if I catch it coming back my way
I'm gonna serve it to you < not me but something else
And that aint what you want to hear
But thats what I'll do < no. WE'll do.
And the feeling coming from my bones
Says find a home < yawn and sleep?

I'm goin to Wichita < Hmmmpfftt? Far from this opera for evermore
I'm gonna work the straw
Make the sweat/sweet drip out of every pore
And I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding
Right before the lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will think/sing no more < hihihihihihihihihihi :D And the stains coming from my BLOOD
Tell me go back home < and sleep. :D

Extra Cut Clip especially for some people:
From : Hantu Kak Limah

Awie: Teman udah bekerje beso.
Awie: udah bekerje beso kat Singapo tu.
Awie: teman jadi SUPERVISA kat kilang elektronik tuh. heheh heh huh
Usop: Bukan SUPERVISA. "Supervisor"
Usop: Itulah pentingnya English Education (Problem? Epic Troll Face) ;D

You see, if human have shadows, words have them too. <3 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This is why I love using free expensive traps, like this one : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kra1pzePv2o hihihihihihihihihihi :D Hey, to whomever that helped : Seriously and honestly, Thanks a lot.Terima Kasih

and Why so serious? and Who the fuck cares?pesanan simple (p/s) : dogs. its their job to bark.

story 64

2011-04-24T06:31:00.005+08:00

Let's talk about "story" today. About those that you heard, about those that you really see with your eyes, about those that you experienced or about someone else's.

Few years ago, a friend of mine, Hanafi had an accident while riding his motorcycle with another friend of mine, Zani in Melaka. The story went passed-by via sms within our community of close friends in our hometown. I went and asked a friend of mine "Weh biar betol Napi eksiden? terok ke tak weh?" and he said "terok bodoh. dia tercarap, muka terseret, badan dengan tangan memang mcm takyah cite la sebab baju korak rabak. Zani ok je takde pape". I asked another friend of mine "Eh terok gile Napi eksiden? Ape cerite?" and he replied "Gile engko, bawak 130 alih-alih langgar divider memang ah terok. aku dengo cite dia tersadai kat hospital pengsan jari patah".

Few days later, it's another friend of mine's turn to ask me about Hanafi's condition and I said simply something like this : "Dagu dia hilang muka terseret, badan patah riuk, dia tengah pengsan tak sedarkan diri kat hospital sana". Some friends of mine scratched their head, feeling sorry and some are kinda furious and wanted to go to Melaka asap but they cant since they got some job to do. But magically during the night, someone texted me saying "Weh Napi dah balik rumah makcik dia hanto". I rushed to his home with some friends of mine.

Everybody was shocked to see Napi, with just bloody-bandages and bloody-stitches. "Ni babi mane cerite dagu aku hilang, jari aku putus, aku koma tulang aku patah riuk?"-Napi. We stared at each other's eyes and start blaming each other with "Haaa die ni cite kat aku, bodoh", "Tak, ni pun aku denga cite daripada dia" and "Mana aku tau, aku cite ni pun sebab dia bagitau aku". And then Napi said "Haa tu la main sedap je hentam cerite macam-macam. Dah dah aku nak masuk jap letak barang, jap lagi kita pegi lepak warung ngeteh" with a laugh.

And this is another tragedy that happened during I was in the late Form 5 :

A friend of mine, Farid was rushing on his way riding a motorcycle to a restaurant in town to have a dinner with his family. And, things that you can expect sometimes, happened. A van hit him although he tried to evade the van, according to the witnesses there at that time. His motorcycle was very badly damaged, and Farid's head got smacked with his motorcycle's handle bar due to the sudden brake of the motorcycle. I even forgot what's the name of that physic law. Farid was badly injured and was sent to our hometown's hospital.

He was in coma for a week. I could remember clearly that his body has becoming a bit huge due to the fluid pipe channeling vitamins and food in the form of fluid going through inside his veins, because he was uncouncious and cant even eat. Let's just say, he was bloated with fluid. I could remember clearly too of the sound of his breath exhaling and inhaling using those pump machines and pipes. And then, at the end of the week, he died, because it was his destined time.

Few days later, I met a friend of my father which was one of arwah Farid's neighbour, and she said "E'eh Rafiq, haritu kan anak jiran makcik baru meninggal. Eksiden moto kat bando. Tu la lain kali jangan merempit". Hearing that, I made this -.- face and told her the truth.

Di kesempatan ini, meminta belas ehsan utk sedekahkan Al-Fatihah kepada roh dan jasad Muhammad Farid B Abdullah. Still, that depends on how you interpret.

Since I realise this blog has been widely spread and people making abstract impressions. So, what made you come to this blog?

qwerty 60

2011-04-23T02:59:00.001+08:00

since fog is the new sight and almost the same brightness as light, be careful of groping in the night

for when three quarters of full is not wide

trust us: this does make lense, sense, and tense

Story 63

2011-04-18T06:03:00.007+08:00

2011 is a Nerdy year, isnt it? Because every footsteps I made leaves torn up papers, abstract impressions and the moon currently shines like the screen of my laptop tonight. And this spectacle of mine needs repairing process for God-knows-how-many-times, again. Probably 20 more or less.

And cant help haters, since haters gonna hate. It's part of their job. Its part of my job too. Maybe, if i put their face on my window or exchanging place ducking in my shoes, they would probably just end up shrimping. Or maybe they would just hold a knife, chasing after someone 24/7 who spread these diseases. Me? I'm just smoking some ciggies, drink hot tea, and have fun. Because it's my job entertaining some people, no matter those groups who glued their hands on my shoulders, or the one group that keeps stabbing me at my spine. In a large scale. After all, it's dunia akhir zaman, kan?

My name is Muhammad Rafiq B Md Kamal. And I'm listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ALaF9GALHI

Forgot to mention that maybe it's just co-incidences, but my father was born on 1961 and his favorite number is, 61. My mom was born on 1962 but she never had any favorite number. She's busy smiling.

And I`m busy sleeping.

Imargerine 10

2011-04-15T15:57:00.007+08:00

Since I am seriously out of mood, lets just not write a long karangan here. Or I will end up memaki-maki mcm haram. Taken somewhere from the net :

Wide, doesnt it?

Thanks to Rob Sheridan. This reminds me of Cobain though.

A cut-scene from The Lost World.

I once drew Digimon characters in a boxed-Math book during primary school. At the age of 21 I get to see something like this.

Ninjas cant catch you FTW

This. seems. like. Ursa. Ahh I miss DotA.

not a Guitarpro5.exe on-paper

Toldya Deadpool was nowhere near this.

Dont, please, you`ll fail being Hendrix.

Eh I thought Norton sucks? Even I'm using a cracked Avira.

this what makes my psp wallpaper beautiful. :D

I saw 2 UFOs there. and the face of a man being stomped on in some posters. The face, I want to stomp very hard right now.

this is a serious hurr durr lost.

Used to trust this. But let's just stay in a herd of black sheep. Let's invite some white sheep too.

Deadpool. Having fun with yellow boxes.

Some friends of mine fell of the chair after I showed this to them.

Even i7 has BSoD.

Calming, doesnt it?

About the Fibonacci Spiral, thanks to Roslinda Roslan. Numbers and shapes have never been so interesting.

This made me laugh like hell.

Let's add the sound effect of "plup" here.

"Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away, and the existence of..... Google"

Who gets the clear picture? There is one. And let's leave all the judgements.

Story 62

2011-04-15T05:48:00.000+08:00

Cheap tricks of setting up traps. That shows how desperate you are in trying to knock some people down in some way.

Still, umum :)

qwerty 59

2011-04-14T10:10:00.001+08:00

Lense, sense, and tense. It has been intense. In the middle of dense.

Let's dance hahah

Imargerine 9 Qwerty 58 Story 61 zzz 15 CULM 2

2011-04-12T16:26:00.010+08:00

Yeah. Based on the title, this is a COMBO.

The Strokes - Ize of the World

Just like your idol singer sings, sighs and whines. Sometimes you think you know what it means, sometimes you think what you thought is right. Should've done a reality checklists, first, about what is the truth and what is swine. I repeat, sometimes you think you know what it means, sometimes you think what you thought is right. But you know what, what's certain is that you`re just a Geli-Mat.

D.(ead) I.(dealistic) D.(esperate) I.(inventor) P.(ioneer) P.(hilosophers)

"I need you to understand something. I wrote this for you. I wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn’t get it. They may think they get it, but they don’t. This is the sign you’ve been looking for. You were meant to read these words." - copied from I Wrote This For You's title.

Re-story 59

qwerty 57

2011-04-12T06:19:00.004+08:00

A watermelon, so funny, it's skin looks like a repetitive stripes of Geli-Mat's jacket

I gave you a soap, but still you throw rubbish at me. Might as well reconsider giving you a soap or Clorox again later, once someone else are throwing you rubbish. Or, probably, I would just end up staring with my favourite smiley face.

Imargerine 8

2011-04-12T04:14:00.001+08:00

Its funny how Jimi died in 1970 but he could still help someone talks in some way in 2011, by melodies from the guitar or by words. You can Google the lyric. Rest in peace, Jimmeh. But sorry Jimmeh, I`m not gonna send you any holy words and sentences from my religion, because its going to be wasteful and useless. Because I'd rather read Al-Fatihah untuk roh dan jasad kepada close people around me such as families and friends that have met death a little earlier, than us. Not forgetting, that I'd rather read Al-Fatihah untuk roh dan jasad to some ikhlas smiling faces, to family members such as my mom and dad, sisters, and also to myself. That depends, on how you interpret.

I knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, some latest posts lately have revolved around religion;

It's my blog. I can do what I want with it (a principle I learned from some cruel blog). *sambil tangan gaya Azwan Ali lemah lentok*

I am on crack and I blog. Yeah, life is pretty much, having fun, crackin up lately. Who am I to sigh, I'm a voodoo child.

finally story 60 hahah

2011-04-11T14:10:00.004+08:00

Actually this is something I wish not to write, but let's just give some people what they want. lets just give them some reason to jump with joy.

Re-qwerty :

"Drown in things you cant see, is the same amount, of drowning in the sea.

and its finger lickin good."

Close people around atm have tirelessly wasted their salivas to say that "at some point in life, we'll lose some important people that have been through with you in life, some people that even you look up high to, some people that have been in your profile pictures, some people that have been glued to your desktop wallpaper, some people that have been through with you at a short terms of ups and downs. Stop fixing things what you dont break"

At first it was a real waste. And then, i dont know. It was as if, those saliva have slowly been collected into a cup and splashed into my face. And probably the saliva has been so corrosive, the pain has made me realise something.

It's the function of God giveth, God taketh. And remember, Allah the Almighty, it knows all from A to Z, from the starting beta process till the final launch, from the starting of the binary codes until the end of depletion of a machine.

And one more thing, who else have been my greatest stalker of all, other than my mom and my dad too, sometimes they went into my room, investigate on some things in my computer, secretly checking up on this blog and some of my other internet accounts, pictures, datas in my external harddisk, camera, and few things more. And as weird as I am, she is always smiling making a "peace" sign. While my father, blergh, he's just full with ego and not showing any emotions at all. After all, he's the original robot. And I bet, my mom is reading this while eating Ubi Getok. Us, Javanese family, has been a fan of Ubi Getok.

And again, my mom wanted some people to know that life is full of drama, we're the actors, and the stages always change, like stairs, i've told you about stairs, if i`m not mistaken. i'm just too lazy to check up on it. She reminded that to me too, but I laughed, but that doesnt mean I throw that from the palm of my hand.

I`m thanking both of them because they have always able to see me through as if some part of my body are invisible, whenever I returned home having bruises and scars settling some problems, whenever I went home heartbroken because of the past love problems, whenever I returned home trembling dealing with this alam-ghaib issues, whenever my shoes have been like a pool of blood because I kissed those jalan tar, whenever I'm stressful dealing with workloads and assignments and other affairs, while I have been doing my best to hide things. and the same thing happened too, to close pals, who noticed that something is wrong. I made a conclusion that "hanya jauhari mengenal manikam".

Jal, Ajwad, terima kasih. And some other names that have the same brain as them. Eh I forgot the most important name, Zack.

Since this really happened and i`m even too lazy to elaborate it, let me just copy and paste of the past : "God speaks in mysterious ways" and "He gets what he deserves, after being so humble"

no. "We get what we deserve, after being so humble"

Finally for the grand finale, I`m leaving you at the mask shop. And yeah, aku dah penat. :D

pleasure. hmm no. thanks too weh haha :]

story 59

2011-04-06T05:03:00.000+08:00

So there's a rumor that Anooar has been in a secks recording. I found that as very interesting. So I went in search of the video. And found the cut clip, at least. I watched it three times.

The first time, I made this expression; =O

The second time, I made this; o_O

The third time, after checked all the details and stared at the man's face and posture, I'm really starting to believe that the man is really Anooar. He looks kinda cool with his actions too.

And then somewhere around 7.30 - 7.50 pm, I was preparing for my dinner when the tv was on. I watched the highlight of the news saying "crap crap crap crap" about the sensational porn of the ex-deputy prime minister. As soon as I'm about to turn the tv off, I watched a scene where Uan Ajijah and even her daughter, Nurul Ijjah, and some other faces smiled and laughed during a media session, I dunno, probably a media conference about that scandalous tape.

I sighed "nice bullshit".

story 58

2011-04-03T22:38:00.000+08:00

Terima kasih daun keladi. Stay bright. Dont keep your left eye blinking.

story 57

2011-04-02T15:53:00.004+08:00

ah now i get an after-effect of ideas within ideas. been busy working on a band project and i`ll try to show it up once i finished. everything sounded so silly and out of tune, though. and i would have to twist my brain to get those drops of something out of the box. after all, headache is one of my fave hobby.

these are notes in facebook that some are shown are some remain hidden. i`ll delete the originals and imma gonna keep this here for backups. till then. bye.

qwert 56

2011-04-01T04:18:00.001+08:00

Potatoes, drifting on the sea of forgotten teardrops

a bit gay post - story 56

2011-03-28T13:34:00.012+08:00

Some people used to be so simple. When I was a kid, I have an ambition to become a doctor, because my parents used to teach me that, and because I love to repair and fix things not matter mechanically, electronically, or or biologically. And also because my mother loves asking me to put handy-plaster whenever she gets a cut slicing fish or veggies. That was me, during my childhood.

After that in lower secondary school, I thought that it's good to become a teacher because a teacher of mine used to come to class and sleep on the teacher's desk or babble around about something out of our syllabus. And I felt that it's good for me to become a teacher, because I could come to work and have a dirty chit-chat with my students. hmmmmm sounds fun.

Then, during upper secondary school, I got drowned in music. that was good. but then I started to get a hold on musical instruments. and that was when I started to lost myself. I kept telling myself that I wanted to be a musician. And that was when I were in a phase called "hyper-pathetic". I did those bundle of 10 exams very badly because I came to exam and sleep for the first 30-minutes and then answered those paper cincai-ly. And also because, I cant get a hold of patience on getting freedom and ending the school era.

And then I involved myself in business during matriculation. I managed a business of a friend of mine and I started to liking it and produced "Aku nak jadi bisnesman lah sial", selling cigarettes and some food and also some things. That was when I, no, us a big number of team of friends of mine developed on how to be conman, by running away from administration, getting chased by security guards, and other problems we caused, we could escape that easily although at times, it needs a lot of perseverance, loyalty, respect, and also being cunning. That made me make a conclusion, businesses have always been a big headache. unless if you`re seriously good in managements, laws, looking awe-dary and street smart.

I stopped that phase, continuing on and moving on. I get 2 interviews of TESL (teaching english as second language) and Sarjana Muda Senibina from UiTM Lendu and UiTM Larkin. but I failed because I didnt do the interviews very well; I dont know how to speak in English very fluently and my drawing skills have been blunt, and because I leave those things for so long, I'm not even sure how to start again. still I thought I deserve another chance. Moving on again.

Next (as expected), as I said, I deserve another new chance. I went into a university continuing on civil engineering. Highlight: and this was when I also met some few good people, too, again. At first, it was good. I even wanted to be a Contractor or an Architect or even an IR Engineer. and then a few things happened, this and that occurs making it a 'my phase of great depression and mental illness'. And dont be ridiculous, I`ve been everywhere, done that, did that, burned that, vandalized that, penetrated some heavy load of bullshits, sighing smiles with 5 shoulders whom I dont even know who they were before that, sacrificing for 5 people who used to be a complete strangers before that, and then, I quit that university. No, dont get me wrong, this is not a mengungkit session. This is a moment of reminiscing, making me eternally remember who used to back me up during my ups and downs with a heavy weight on my shoulders. They helped me carry it, though, making those heavy things lighter.

Let's just stop until that part.

And this post is for you. You know who you are, a friend who have been dealing with great heavy things and great drama, and I've been a villain in it once or twice. This is your turn. Sorry I never functioned as a 'grown-up and matang' in our group, instead, I functioned as a happy looking jasper. And as you said, there's a side of everyone that they dont make it naked everyday. And this is a side of me that I need to speak out loud, so that you dont get me wrong as if I've been forgetting all those memorable things from the past. After all, there are many sides of me I've been transformed into, but I never show it much. Everyone is respectively a larva and a chameleon, you know it that much.

Life used to be so simple, kan. Sorry I failed terribly at being an optimistic. Sorry aku takde time kau tengah down. And sorry again sebab aku percaya orang buat fitnah pasal kau.

Although kita dah split lain lane, tapi kita still boleh jumpa balik kat next stesyen yg sama kan? Peh penat sial aku ajar kau pasal stesyen LRT dulu kat KL. haha

And if you think God puts you in the wrong place, think again. Errors were made by us. If you feel that you`re in the wrong place, please blame yourself, dont blame God. Again, If you feel that you`re in the wrong place, then, make things right.

Cakap pasal errors, aku sebenarnya ada kata-kata philosophy pasal errors, life dgn binary codes 1010101010 tp better aku leave it out for next time. hahah.

Sounds a bit gay-ish, dont you think? Haha you know I`m gonna end things up with a little silly joke. After all, aku memang tak reti nak jadi matang.

We should put out a calculator and count up how many times have I been serious. And trust me, close people around me have always said that they dont like a taste of me being so serious. kau sendiri cakap camtu kan? :]

And i`m not gonna be active in blog for a while. till then, see you when another problem comes up.

And dont be so depressed. We respectively have all been scattered here and there, but you know, wait until the jigsaw puzzle complete. And kalao nak nangis, nangis je lah. "Tak payah nak simpan dalam" - bak kata ajwad. hahahahah. And you should just move on. Bye.

"and dont get me wrong. neither dont get me right. but get yourself first"

q 55

2011-03-24T16:02:00.000+08:00

and irony is somewhat a salt.

qwerty 54

2011-03-23T02:31:00.001+08:00

Examining something they dont know, labelling a name on them, placing either true or false descriptions on them, making experiments proving the truth until there's no other characteristics left behind. Simply saying, That's what scientists do.

What did you do? I failed not once not twice but many times. many.

Celaka punya many.

I have a penis, I can't give birth but I could make someone give birth. But what's weirder is that many doesnt even have any sex organ, but they could give birth.

55

2011-03-22T16:12:00.009+08:00

after numerous times of reflection thought, lets erase this post contents that was full of mockery. too bad isnt it? let's replace with new one:

and how's your life lately? Is it good? Is it not? If it's not , then I feel sorry for you. Because you are so 'otai', you are a hero, even I. am afraid of you.

let's end this post with a long laugh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

psychotic isnt it?

I know someday one day, my words, maybe, are going to stab me back right on the face, but let's just blame the timing, the clock, because it put you overlapped with the circusmtances, your stupidity, the moment itself, and you yourself, making you a victim.

I've been once, and waiting for my turn. In fact, everyone has get the taste of being one.

Be a man, instead of a dog who leave shits everywhere leaving burden to other people. After all, arent you so smart? Tak perlu mengemis pendapat orang? Yeah you are smart, but I`m getting tired. I`m tired.

as promised,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

- by a boy who works as a cleaner, cleaning your footsteps. dont tell me you dont read this, because I`m tired typing it, appreciate my effort please, after all, you've been enjoying coming to my area and copying everything. sorry, i forgot. you've been enjoying coming to everyone's area, copy everything, and then left with shits here and there. Good luck in life, sporadic dog.

2011-03-21T08:22:00.004+08:00

A loop. In computer language, do you know what a looping processes consist of?

and why the hell do I always bother to start to think about some rest when the weekend has already ended.

qwerty 52

2011-03-17T05:47:00.000+08:00

Worms have been so weak, they never realise they have gotten so strong.

and every day i wonder how other people look at a tomato

Imargerine 7

2011-03-14T20:24:00.006+08:00

Have you ever heard of "Crepuscolo Sul Mare" song? It's in Italy, meaning "twilight on the sea" based on Google Translate.

You could download the track from here by the way.

Listening to that song, you know there's an unexplainable mixed feeling, gushing here and there. And I wish I could explain it with words, but I`m failing with words and vocabs lately, greatly.

And yeah, its a soundtrack from one of my favourite movies, Ocean 12,from when Brad Pitt first met Catherine Zeta Jone, while running away from the police.

And you know, I`m planning on something to hit your ears, later.

So, later :-)

//updated: 16032011

and, this is your later

qwerty story

2011-03-12T05:57:00.003+08:00

Thumbs Up.

(>'_')>

la lala lala

2011-03-10T07:29:00.004+08:00

Yeah I know, this is a parody of "OutKast - Hey Ya!" but as Chris Rock sings, this vc is a cracker.

story of eternity 54

2011-03-09T01:57:00.000+08:00

st 53

2011-03-06T18:06:00.000+08:00

and my left eye has been blinking for quite some moment. i`m not even sure, but let's lit up some ciggies.

wtf

2011-03-06T09:57:00.003+08:00

Jal jangan givap, jal. kamonnnnnnnn aku paan ajwad ada je ni ha utk lempang muka kau then cakap 'jangan givap'. haha. jangan jadi bodo.

and aku taknak nnt one day aku cerita kat anak kau "dulu bapak kau givap sebab benda bodoh je". ni bukan celaka berotak yg aku kenal.

Go Jal.

p/s: i`m not in the suitable place to talk, tapi betulkan niat jal. carik aku bila kau dah pikir masak2.

Do you know

2011-03-06T02:07:00.008+08:00

Do you know you could turn on "Auto Repeat" on Youtube by typing FAST in front of the URL

such as;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LP7r7bRgBzg

to turn on Auto Repeat, adding "fast" in front of the url like this:

http://www.FASTyoutube.com/watch?v=LP7r7bRgBzg

Btw enjoy the Song For Dan Tracy by MGMT

p/s: This sucks. because its no longer functioning. :[ 10/03/2011

qwerty 50

2011-03-03T05:09:00.001+08:00

Sitting on a bench in a park alone whistling is enough to make people stare at you.

Watching someone sitting on a bench in a park alone whistling. What would you do?

I`m not your psychiatrist of this post. You yourself are.

Satisfied, bitch ?

2011-03-02T05:43:00.021+08:00

Sorry for another emotional post but I wish this is the last about this person I would type since this bullshits are getting more and more absurd.

Actually I dont have the intention of telling this in a very decent way, but you know, lets try to turn on the super sarcastic mode again. Translation: SEbenarnya aku takde niat pun nak cakap benda ni secara sopan, akan tetapi (fuh 'akan tetapi' siakk, skema gila kan?) aku hidupkan kembali suis super perli aku.

This is for someone whom I used to respect, since the beginning of our f-friendshit-p 2-3 years ago. I know you'll be reading this because I've checked your laptop and your browsing history. Bak kata orang, "semai benih merata-rata, dapat hasil pun merata-rata" :]

Since my last blog how have I been so annoyed and pissed off with you. Until recently, you`ve been infecting people around you including me and some other few people with your so called "perangai budak baru nak up" khususnya bab2 langsi samseng gangster apelancau semua ni. Click here for what you`ve been infected us. I`m so sorry but this is for your own good. For greater good.

Let's just compile this one into point forms :

This is for you, untuk kau, yang kau rasa semua orang kau nak tiru, as in gaya percakapan, gaya perbuatan, gaya hidup (tak boleh tengok orang up sikit nak pakai Iphone, kau pun sibuk jealousy nak ada Iphone. ; tak boleh tengok orang up sikit pegang camera, semua orang kau nak ikut. sebab tu aku perli kau dgn so called "Kamera MAHAL" hahaha and then ironinya dulu aku yg ajar kau pasal kamera especially bokeh and editing walaupun aku pakai digicam cikai sahaja, then recently kau pulak brag dgn new information about bokeh as if aku bodoh gila. FUYYOH kau memang hebat dan stylo. Mentang2 dah ada kamera MAHALLLLLLLLLLLLLL. GO BRAG SUMMORE)
Cerita nak gempak sikit-sikit nak langgar sana sini bajet macam Malaysia ni bapak kau yg punya. Then klao ada problem, kitorang ni jugak yg kau carik. Bukan taknak tolong, tapi aku naik fed up. Bukan aku sorang yg fed up, aku klao boleh nak sebut jugak nama yang lain-lain yang bengang gila dengan kau tapi sebab aku tak suka jual nama orang. Najis kau yg buat, kau sepah-sepahkan tapi apasal suruh orang lain yg tolong bersihkan?. Cakap pumpampumpam meletopzzzzz sana sini, kalau lu gangster sangat, apasal tak pegi langgar secara berseorangan? Kenapa perlu beregu dan beramai-ramai sebagaimana hebatnya cara percakapan dan perbuatan kau? 'Ikut jalan baik tapi gaya kau macam jalan gelap'? Tangan kami simpan dalam poket, apasal tangan kau senang terbang? Bersayap sangat, melekit sawang labah-labah sangat? ;]

Jaga tepi kain orang utk tunjuk hero? Hmmmpppfftttt

Then mengadu about how people NOT RESPECTING you. think again. kalao kau ada otak yg bermemori baik, kau patut ingat kenangan gay kita berdua entah berapa banyak kali berbual secara private di kedai mamak or restoran-restoran terkemuka, remember about what I sarcassed you. Did you? did you remember about all my advices to you? Do you remember about what I insulted you in front of your babyface? I still remember how goody and nerdy you are when we first met, I respected you for that, tapi tetibe sekarang ni apasal nak bajet 'aku-samseng-aku-harus-panggil-gang-untuk-pukul-orang' sangat. perlu ke? hihi. and now, things are getting worse, and dont blame me for insulting you in front of other people, publicly. aku sendiri pernah cakap dengan kau terus terang, aku malas nak tunjuk belang sebab otak aku dah tak kasik sangat. and YOU SHOULD THANK GOD, YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN THIS WONDERFUL PEOPLE, WONDERFUL CIRCLE OF FRIENDS THAT HOLD ME FROM GIVING THIS BIG MALAPETAKA PLANNED FOR YOU. YOU SHOULD. then, you know why I sometimes stopped respecting you.
Kau suka buat cerita sangat kan? Sampai nama orang boleh jadi busuk. Benda yang tak ada, kau ada-kan. Aib orang kau bukak. Janji setakat kat mulut. Kau ingat kau sapa? Pengarah cerita Khurafat, Ngangkung, KL Menjerit, etc etc? Dok sibuk advice aku tapi diri sendiri melongkang?
Continue on reading if you think you can repair up your negative side, by adding summore sakit hati in your self. Tu kau tak kira lagi aku punya sakit hati. Stop reading if you cant accept the fact and act like nothing happened as I know you`re this so called "cool" and "bergaya" type and ignore these bullshits I exhaustively typed for you. As I said, this is for your own good. For greater good that I`ve sow for the past few years. Again, you reap, what I sow. I`ve been so kind for you, like a guardian angel. Too bad aku takde HALO atas kepala aku. bak kata kau jugak, kepala aku ni penuh dengan tanduk. maka sekarang bertanduklah aku.

These are, after all, some of those points are for you. Aku dah penat type panjang-panjang buat bazir rokok aku sedut sebab adrenaline aku laju sangat, tangan aku menggeletar, iris aku mengecil and hati aku rasa mcm dalam oven. Let's flashback:

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/10/story-35-and-half-and-qwerty-35.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/10/story-35.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/09/qwerty-31-story-33.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/08/story-31-qwerty-31.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/08/qwerty29-story-30.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/07/story-28-qwerty-28.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/07/qwerty-24.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/07/zzz-13-story-24.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/06/story-18.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/06/qwerty-20.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/05/story-15-qwerty-18-zzz-6.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/04/qwerty-18.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/03/qwerty-10.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/03/qwerty-9.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/03/bodoh-tolol.html

http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2010/02/qwerty-4.html

http://ohoirafiq.blogspot.com/2009/06/time-travel.html

ni belum lagi aku dok korek history FB status aku :]

Yeah there are a few more posts for you hidden saved as draft in my old blog, but i`m too lazy even to publish it back, just in case if you remember. Especially the post "Grow Up, Kids", "This may makes you look pretty ugly" and also "Let Me Tell You a Story".

Last. I`ve tried to stop myself from being so cruel. But you forced me to. And there's not gonna be another sorry word going out of my mouth anymore. Not even as your friend, not even as saudara seIslam. unless i`ve reconsider your improvements and being honest and ikhlas with it. Go fix yourself first.

And in case if you have a good memory again, Did you remember you copied 90% of my old blog posts? Get a life, douchebag. and now, I`m writing this in my blog for you to read it since you love to read, copy, and paste, like a copycat, and it was more like a praise, but from me to you, I know my blogs have been a great influence to you. Well, what an honor. :]

And I know, good side bad side of people yaddi yadda yadi yada bullcrap. Aku appreciate good side kau. Aku berterima kasih. and kau pun patut tau aku bersebab untuk tulis benda bertaraf novel camni panjang-panjang. and aku boleh ignore klao aku sorang sahaja yg merasakan amat pukimak mcm ni. tapi sebab banyak lagi mulut yang berselidah dengan aku, so... terimalah hadiah daripada aku yang menjadi wakil.

Tangan aku ada banyak benda lagi utk diuruskan, otak aku ada banyak benda lagi utk difikirkan. drpd dok semak pasal sampah-sampah yg kau tinggalkan, yg kau buat kau campak kat orang lain. masaalah aku sendiri tak tertanggung lagi kau nak tambahkan lagi sampah sarap. patutnya fungsi orang mcm kau adalah untuk meringankan lagi beban mcm dalam siaran TV3 Bersamamu.

Assalamu'alaikum dan selamat menjamu selera.

story 52

2011-02-28T10:59:00.000+08:00

wanted to share that this thing has been overflowing overloading with genius ideas and creativities. a good source of laughters btw. go grab some.

story 51

2011-02-26T02:33:00.001+08:00

its pretty calming when you`re stranded in a low temperature hotel room with your father for 3 days. today is the second day, and i`m looking forward to it. i`m kidding, no, its superbly insane. i sometimes wish i could jump off from this 25 storey building without my bodyparst splattered here and there, just for the sake of killing this boredom.

and its weird when you have used to all that noises, and then suddenly you`re trapped in an empty silent box but you could still hear something humming, and whatever sound you create, shall echoes.

qwerty

2011-02-23T06:03:00.006+08:00

I posted this yesterday. and then I hide it back for some reason. and then i feel the need to post this back and fuck what other people say, and speak to self that what's past has passed and is past and i didnt even tremble like a dick anymore

and again, i felt so stupid. i thought ive stopped being an animal. and tonight, is the night i wish to forget. tonight, i even tremble with regrets, even when i typed in these words with this stupid keyboard. tonight, i even wish i could forget this nickname of robot. tonight, these fists are more talkative than my mouth. tonight, i wish to rewind back time, instead of puching someone else like a dummy, the one i really would like to punch is myself. with a mixed up feelings, i'n telling myself this: how weird things were and are, when you`re coming back to senses.

and I am so sorry, this head has been filled with regrets and some fire of counsciousness,

even philosophers noted that counsciousness has been difficult to define

story 50

2011-02-22T14:45:00.002+08:00

And this is why I love Wardina. ok lepas gaduh-gaduh kecil dgn Lisa Surihani, dia dah tak kisah dah aku minat Wardina. ceh haha

and this is why I'm starting to to hate my studies, and one day, I get a feeling I`m gonna hate my job with those codings, codes, variables, strings, booleans, integers, apelancau semua because I will be glued in front of the computer with no sense of emotion and all at all.

One year left then Im out fucking some companies, hopefully. Wait, I have a vision I'm gonna dressed up like a total geek with a 15 inches thick lense of spectacles, with Clark Kent hairstyle, shiny black shoes, ties and collars and fine bundle suits, embracing mounting boards and server databases plans, while holding a torn broken up keyboard after hitting up some people's faces.

Or perhaps I have some other 'going on a wrong' way plan.

And, this may sound so selfish, but I never knew another worse black sheep for the rest of my life, that is me myself.

Lets do some Cobain tribute, I must

2011-02-20T17:35:00.008+08:00

among the 3rd last paragraph of his suicide note:

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

His influencial quotes I copied and paste after Googled up on it:

I bought a gun and chose drugs instead.

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are

I was looking for something a lot heavier, yet melodic at the same time. Something different from heavy metal, a different attitude.

I ain't got no watchamacallit

and the most important quote of all I get to hold on to it since I was 15, but then I got slipped with Gerard Way and gothicy stuff haha. and I kinda envy him because he's a left-handed person, but he could use both of his hands to play guitar, with the hollowy raw voice and the genius brain to produce weirds unique riffs and lyrics :

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

after all, he's been a great teacher

Happy 44th birthday, Cobain.

and, buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih.

"Im goin where the cold wind blows"

qwerty 48

2011-02-19T13:50:00.001+08:00

ever had repeating echoing voices of "I wish I could" ?

zzz 14

2011-02-18T03:34:00.000+08:00

and now I`m exhausted like hell, with these educational bullshit problems.

truth to be told, i`ve studied on both Government Uni and Private Uni

to me, both of our standards are......... no I'm wrong. there are higher standards for going to the well-known gov uni. because u know, its cheaper (what are smart malaysian without "cheaper") and after all, could easily be recognised.

but based on my experiences, and also many other pets of mine, other than the students' problems, there is administration.

us, the private uni (yeah i`m talking about me and my friends) students, are suffering from these marking up or gillette cash problems. whenever something goes wrong in the admin, you know, like they ran short of money to facilitate apelancau to accomodate apelancau, they would fail a few students (they are smart, they fail those who are dumb) and then ask them to sit for another final examinations, and if we fail again, they would make us sit for the same class for another semester for youknowwhatcost.

me? i`m sitting for another Networking Principles referral examination and i deserve it because i did so bad last time, the night before the examination i went to Dataran Merdeka for sightseeing watching rempits and mat car showing off their vehicles. i deserve it stfu gtfo

and what is weirder is that we need to have some kind of good relationship with lecturers so that we could pass those exams with good results. what is this? Diploma for Sucking Up? Bachelor in Licking Ass Management? I once did well on Java or Object Oriented Programming, outcomes and exams, and after fucking my foreign lecturer's mind, I get a C-. I know some of you would think I would suggest this "Where is the love?" song by Black Eyed Peas but you know you`re half wrong and fully right.

and then there is this main campur-branches problems such as; I`m studying in this branch of Lickass College, whenever there is a problem, and I go to the admin, they would give this as a response "Sori aaa ini kepala tak kasi i buat camtu. I orang bawah, dah lah orang bawah, kita punya ni branch saja so I kena stick to the orders of orang atasan" and after a few gertak with using this so-called Igotthepowwa "I will refer to the Kementerian Pendidikan u punya administration macam sial", then they would go "Oh okay okay I will do what I can" and then everything goes a-okai.

What is this bullshit? is this even an education institute or a money sucking up banking institute?

too bad, us students, even me, didnt dare to stand up, because our future and life depends greatly in this bullshit.

is it just me or those with authorities from before, made us chained in this pathetic situation.

mcm frimason probably, taknak kasi rakyat bising bersuara, they would conquer those with powers and made some rules so that people would go stfu and fill nation's mouth with kapas 6kg so that whatever sound or yell they made, would turn into a sissy small cricketty sound, not even another creature could hear, so that they could manipulate and discriminate people around freely.

pity us. our parents' mind have been set to give us good educations, while they are attracted only to our wallet. and our parents' wallet.

qwerty 47 story 49

2011-02-09T04:15:00.003+08:00

"alah orang tengah baik, semua benda dia buat memang wangi. nanti bila dah tak baik, semua jadi macam taik.orang camni memang tak boleh pakai" Kamal Kasman dan Norhaida Ujang.

so I wonder "'pakai' tu macamana" dalam hati.

"sori afiq tak reti nak pakai-pakai orang ni.sebab Tuhan cipta manusia ni daripada sperma dan benda apa ntah dalam faraj. bukan manusia dicipta daripada kilang plastik dan tisu span semua untuk jadi lampin pakai buang utk perempuan period. so boleh explain sikit pakai tu macamana bu?" - self

"pakai ni macam..." - ibu

"alah macam afiq jugak. bila berduit buat taktau je, tapi bila nakkan sesuatu macam duit, baru nak datang kat ayah ibu" - ayah menyampuk

"ahahahahaha apasal kejam sangat? so kira ni afiq dapat lesen mintak duit kat ayah ibu even klao time afiq berduit la eh? hhahaha BELIKAN VESPA SATU PLIS" - self

"amboi *mata jeling sengih-sengih kat ayah*" - ibu

knowing them, they wont label me as "tak boleh pakai punya anak" unless i do some serious shit to them.and till now, i think i havent, thank God. and i dont want to bother explaining to them. because I have a head just like them, and probably they have a good understanding head knowing what their clone had in mind.

this also applies to everyone else. just let people label you as what they want.
i`m fine with that. no. i`m fun with that. fun.

and you know, i dont want to bother explaining.

i dont want to bother explaining.

story 48

2011-02-04T00:18:00.000+08:00

those offensive posts before especially this one; http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2011/01/story-47-ni-mmg-macam-cibai-sikit.html , lets just say, they prove something. after that being settled, then again, let me say again, I am so sorry. because I dont know things are going to be this so called 'drama'. haha.

i guess we're just kids when we committed those both irrational and rational stuff. we are men when we settle things down face to face on a table. the conclusion is, there's always a culprit. and doubts.

sorry again.

I guess, I can be available always to fill in those empty antagonist spot.

story 47 ni mmg macam cibai sikit

2011-01-31T03:26:00.005+08:00

aku penat. tak tenat. tapi penat. kita pernah tenat. kita pernah nazak sebelum ini. tapi aku tak sangka sampai jadi macamni. dulu kita rapat. sekarang palat. kita rapat. aku bagi semua rahsia yg aku bungkus macam kuih lepat. kita makan separuh-separuh kuih lepat sama-sama supaya saling merasa dan menjadi rapat. and then kau. suku kau ludah, suku kau buat tarik perhatian, suku kau calit kat muka aku balik, suku kau letak entah kat memana.

aku ingat kita sama jantan, sama otak berpelir, sama tunas rasa di lidah (ok sounds so gay gilebabi), senang cerita aku percaya kau tak akan pernah khianat.

sebab kita kawan rapat.

aku ambil kesempatan klao in case kau lupa, dan cerita ini bukan untuk amek simpati tapi utk renjis air balik kat muka mamai buta kau; aku dulu ada seorang rakan karib. then kitorang end up bertumbuk. sebab perempuan. then kau pun tahu, definisi kawan melongkang, terciptanya definisi musuh.

aku buka tangan luas karpet merah panjang mcm karpet hollywood kalao kau nak buat aku jadi musuh. aku tau kau baca benda ni. sebab aku rasa. rasa aku mungkin kadang-kadang khianat aku. kadang-kadang jadi rakan karib aku. sebab rasa itu rahsia. tapi rasa takkan boleh putus musuh atau kawan dengan aku. kau boleh.

sebab aku dah penat. otot, tisu, sel aku bergerak keringat tapi kau hanya tahi hangat. cerita sembang lebat. mulut macam berbuih overdose makan pil tidur tapi kepala butuh.

untuk yang bodoh sombong kau bajet kau hebat bajet dan pada firasat aku, kau amat menolong mengeruhkan keadaan, aku nak kau baca ni balik - http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2011/01/qwerty-45-story-46.html

sekurang-kurangnya, aku dah penat. aku dah cuba, kau pun tau definisi cuba tu macamana sebab aku tau kau pandai. pandai belit. pandai lempar taik kat muka orang. sekurang-kurangnya aku cuba ludah kat muka orang yg aku rasa betul bersalah, dengan tepat. eh, kau pun lipas jugak?

kita sama lelaki, tapi. kenapa kau mcm betina sangat? so called kawan rapat?

aku dah penat. aku dah cuba. jujur aku cakap, ini alternatif aku. come with yourself, and your so called army. ok aku tiru tajuk lagu band Radiohead - You and Whose Army ?

tolonglah berhenti buta. sebab kalao kau buta, aku lagilah buta.

qwerty 47 - 1 = 46

2011-01-30T19:35:00.003+08:00

Drown in things you cant see, is the same amount, of drowning in the sea.

and its finger lickin good.

qwerty 45 story 46

2011-01-28T07:32:00.000+08:00

pests. its just their nature that they could easily make people annoyed and pissed off.

i was cleaning my aquarium that day when suddenly a cockroach went into my kain pelikat and running around on my left leg madly freely making me feel... you know the feeling.

i ended up bukak kain letting my boxer as a cover from being naked and then catched the roach. if i were to heed my heart, i would stomp it until its brain splurt out. well, there's another option. there it goes, into my fishes's stomach.

pests. they are just like that. taktau apa-apa benda then disturbing people around just like that, meddling in things they dont know. and then, suffers.

did you know that there are humans that have cockroaches's brain?

qwerty 44

2011-01-24T03:21:00.001+08:00

did you know that fans can talk? but they only speak something that we could not understand.

story 45

2011-01-17T05:55:00.001+08:00

jangan cakap aku tak pernah sabar. ahahahahahahahaha

sebab sabar aku itu lah yang mengeruhkan keadaan.

and sebab aku tahu kau tak pernah nampak aku bersabar. although aku depan mata kau amat sober and in one piece.

qwerty 43

2011-01-13T17:07:00.000+08:00

i thank Allah those hands that helped me to get to the surface, till now, arent that slippery and some are kind of thorny but what the hell, i have used to that. mostly.

qwerty 42

2011-01-09T06:22:00.000+08:00

sometimes some people learn it from movies.

di tangan lain, some people learn it from eternity.

qwerty 41

2011-01-08T03:33:00.000+08:00

From: The Batman - The Killing Joke

STORY 44

2011-01-06T15:30:00.000+08:00

MALAS MCM CELAKA. TP HARAP 4 FLAT WTF. BUAT EXAM MCM TAIK BETTER HARAP JADI TUKANG SAPU SAMPAH.

LECTURER DAH KASI KAU SOALAN BOCOR, BODOH. TP KAU SIBUK TIDO?

APELANCAU, SELF?

BYE. NAK KOREK HIDUNG.

Just some songs that really suit some people's life

2011-01-03T23:34:00.007+08:00

sorry i have just been healed by God from these obnoxious coughing sore throat problems and fever. and you know, watch with your ears, listen with your eyes reading the lyrics. you could Google them.

No Doubt - Don't Speak cover
p/s: utk ehem ehem orang yg tinggalkan member sebab perempuan. i know, kinda gay

Radiohead - Karma Police cover

later then

qwerty 41

2011-01-02T10:28:00.002+08:00

sometimes being the best is, after all, is a curse.

Story 43

2011-01-01T01:25:00.000+08:00

Its funneh how a year could change a person. From a person we knew to an alien. And sometimes from a person to a corpse. Corpses.

And you know, how a year stabs you back after you stab all the years passed by.

And I believe, how a year could gives you something good in return after all those bullshits that you've been through.

Sorry I forgot. I canceled those back. because every year, could give you both.

Happeh *yawn* New Year.

2011 gives me the need to make me return to being a nerd back. as i said in formspring, "to be a better person than 2010. levelling up, from good to better, from bad to worse, i think."

Later.

qwerty 40

2010-12-29T13:09:00.000+08:00

I found this quote randomly on some forum as their signature.

but yeah, this means something. here it is:

"Do not ever tell anybody anything, because if you do you start missing everybody"

and my own: "Sometimes I inhale your exhaled breath"

sounds so weird doesnt it? but I wish not to tell you that, because you'll start missing me with my weirdness sometimes. too bad, I have told you that.

2010-12-24T09:12:00.001+08:00

be very careful, self.

story 42

2010-12-20T07:46:00.001+08:00

been busy playing cityville lately which is why i slapped myself and said "i should get a better life than playing some simple 'hack-able" game" haha and final is around the corner and also, assignments keep knocking on the door yeah i know, so annoying like the song "knock knock knockin on heavens door" from Guns n Roses pfffft how can i say that, slash is among my favourite guitar player.

so instead i feel the need to upload these to show what i`ve been busy lately. and, its been ages since i started drawings back.

and dont worry, i`ve even stopped playing Cityville. haha.

self portrait test

DARTH BIEBERRRRRRRRRR

clocks

last. i wish 2011 really comes faster. because, some big changes is going to happen, imo. and i should really not start to have an album of dozens collection of DBKL summons. I WISH. FML bye

random jizz

2010-12-19T10:53:00.002+08:00

weh kau kalau problem sikit, panggil 'abang', problem sikit, suruh 'abang' backup, problem dgn orang, suruh 'abang' buat kerja maki-maki orang tu walhal kau dok diam membisu memondan, problem sikit, kau jadikan 'abang' kau tu mcm khadam anjing abdi buat apa yang kau suruh, baik amek skrotum kau, hiris 5-6 kali then tuang masuk blender la weh. buat malu je wujud kat badan kau. buat malu lelaki je. aku taktau pulak the new definition of "lelaki" macam kau ni exist . hahahaha :)

qwerty 39

2010-12-18T22:00:00.001+08:00

the first time, they always spread your mind wandering off somewhere making your heart in a pressure of blood.

the second and so on tricks always make the trickster be shocked by the audience, ironically. what are tricksters without the audience.

Story 41

2010-12-11T03:38:00.001+08:00

because lately i`ve been having problems with dreams. some people may neglect it as just some soul travel, imagination while resting. well i am standing in a croud of another of that "some" people who believe that dreams are something. something signs either good or bad.

i dreamed of some arwahs that came into my life in the past 20 years old, especially a satan impersonating my arwah grandfather talking craps to me, i knew it was satan, because the real roh arwah wouldnt come into your dreams and being so talkative. real roh would come into your dreams and just silent and perhaps smile dressing in a white cloak or clothes.

i dreamed of my body splits into two part, soul and body. i watched my body asleep while my soul sit around staring at my body. i know, too creepeh.

i dreamed of apocalypse. i dreamed of being chased by ghosts in the middle of an never ending forest.

i dreamed of those persons who i love, especially friends. you know who you are.

i dreamed of me, being an Ultraman and Kamen Rider < okai this is just some random craps

and tak payah la nak cite pasal mimpi basah. segan lah. hihi. btw, my father dreamed of me stabbing him somewhere around the chest. he told me about that in a very sayu voice. my mother also told me "ayah tengah-tengah malam haritu terkejut bangun tido pastu dia bagitau afiq tikam dia dalam mimpi, ibu pun terkejut la". so my reaction was like "hmmmmmmmm interesting. tu la lain kali sebelum tido basuh kaki".

and that makes me realize i should control my temper whenever i have any intense things going on.

then lately i dreamed of stabbing someone i dont really recognize pitilessly. macam potong kek. kelar leher dia, then hiris dada dia buat bentuk kotak. and then i snap. a snap is like a kick, in terms of Inception.

and funny. while i`m writing this blog, reminiscent and flashing back, lately, yeah, lately, i love to play with knives. if you`re careful and sensitive, you should see some cut scars on my fingers. and funny, my tendencies to play with knives grew even more, just like i started to love them.

so what is the conclusion made up by you?

p/s: things are going a bit peaceful lately. no, more like a harmony instrumental orchestra going on.

Journal

2010-11-30T12:34:00.006+08:00

delayed for weeks to update this. well, as simple as i can, i should write. feels kinda awkward to write because I have left this blog for a while.

went to Kedah yaddi yadda yaddi yadda. well, Kedah is cool. so does the people too. friendly, cheerful, although some of them stared us with weird expressions, hmmm i mean, me. maybe sbb rambut panjang then buat meriah sana sini.

and not to say that i've know the world better. just wanted to say that, rough jokes are allright. dok maki sana sini, perli-perli, that's good and friendly. even me from selatan, could adapt to that. maybe some people cant accept that, tapi aku pedulik apa. you should try to go to Melaka or even stay in Muar to know how rude our jokes are, with the intentions to be friendly. or boleh stay kat Kuala Lumpur, know the dark side of KL to test how your perseverance are. kalau nak kenal dunia sebenar macamana :)

and the scenery, you know how beautiful it is to stare at a wide sky. breathtaking, even I cant help to stare at the sky for a long time. and it's windy and a bit gloomy because it`s raining season when I was there.

remember THIS story? actually I went there with arwah's son, a best friend of mine, to help with some wedding ceremony there. and you know, although i`ve know his family for 3-4 days, it's like they have known me for a long time, far away from treating me like a stranger. that's good, of course.

a new dialect of Malay language, I have learned. and wished to learn even more. and knew some good people there :)

and let's just say, being a traveler, shows your true skin even more. and takdela duduk bawah tempurung sangat contoh;

1. bila kena maki sikit tros nak touchey emotional apelancau semua. sebab orang camtu memang patut kena stab dengan mata liquid paper. but with limit. no sensitive issues involve, iukwim.

2. when things arent going your way, duit tak cukup, transport takde or etc etc. that's why plans are handy. too handy than candy.

3. bila ada masaalah datang, solve it together. bukan bila ada masalah datang, yg lain semua lari. tapi aku memang lari kalau orang cite masalah yg merapu dok create fake tipu stories dia jual. sbb logically, real true friends stick whenever one needs them, whenever one thinks that they are necessary to help solve the problems, whenever the one who is in a problem is in a REAL problem, bukan create some drama story bluffing here and there.

nanti kau jumpa macam-macam jenis orang bila kau travel too. even close one yang kita dah lama kenal, makin tak kenal pun ada. :D

bye then.

Story 40 qwerty 38

2010-11-24T21:31:00.003+08:00

dreams. dreams.

let's just merepek

2010-11-20T02:56:00.007+08:00

did you know the word 'understand', is a mixture of under and stand. maybe the imagination of; being under celah kelengkang someone who is standing could make you know and feel what they've been through too. nahhhh, as the title written, i`m just crapping around. i`m not fucking around with some famous tokoh people quotes right now.

right now, i`m thinking of being reasonable or 'reason' is a mixture of the words; read and arson.

"marilah kita berada di bawah celah kelengkang seseorang untuk membaca buku dan membakar kelengkang mereka" - sounds pretty much fun to do, kan?

because, when you read, you understand them. and understanding something makes you know what you`re doing. and have reasons to do this and that. but eventually burn yourself in a deep flame of unknown venom. lama-lama makan diri.

aku rasa nak termuntah sebab rasa gembira, marah, mahu ketawa, dan menangis dalam masa yang sama serentak.

and btw, betul ke apa yang kau cerita atau kau saja buat cerita palsu untuk tarik perhatian. desperate. aku tak terkejut kalau ada orang percaya cerita palsu kau sebab maybe diorang percaya akan kejujuran seorang insan yang diorang anggap sebagai pahlawan jujur murni. aku pun dulu pernah anggap kau macamtu. tapi.

kalao menipu untuk bergurau tu takpa, aku terima sebab aku bukan seorang jenis yg serious tiap-tiap masa. in fact, aku tak lah bebal sangat seperti yg kau sangkakan untuk bezakan mana satu gurauan dan mana satu penipuan.

dan, kau patut tau or kau patut jual tauhu. tak semua orang berada di kawasan bebal yang sama.

so skarang kita macam tengah main chess. walaupun aku bodoh sangat dalam chess, tapi aku nak tahu juga apa langkah kau seterusnya? :D

aku senantiasa ada kat sini untuk kau confess dan meminta maaf. aku boleh simpan. walau kau tak nak pun, aku tetap simpan.

after all, aku Alhamdulillah dah biasa being burnt in a deep flame of unknown venom.

p/s: dan btw, jangan perasan sgt aku selama-lamanya tolong kau. sebab aku ada ramai lagi putaran manusia yang hidup sekeliling aku. hidup aku pun bukan dicipta utk kau seorang so, mari aku repeat, jangan perasan. :>

2010-11-17T15:43:00.000+08:00

Imargerine 6 Story 39

2010-11-14T14:16:00.002+08:00

that's okay. i`m going.

thus, ending a part.

qwerty 37 story 38 imargerine 5

2010-11-12T12:14:00.007+08:00

I am the one who is always flying away, flapping my wings, making black dark feathers fall to the ground just to show how sinister and demonic I am, just like Sephiroth. but the truth is, the truth is ...

WHAT? YOU DONT KNOW WHO SEPHIROTH IS?

YOU DONT FUCKING KNOW WHO THE FUCK SEPHIROTH IS?

that's okay. I know you dont play Final Fantasy 7 games. haha. But this is, Sephiroth.

and hey, there's even de-motivators of him in the internet :)

"I'll rob you of your light forever"

"What does a beast know?"

"I've thought of a wonderful present for you...shall I give you despair?"

"Tell me what you cherish most. Give me the pleasure of taking it away"

And based on those quotes from him, I bet you don't believe that he once used to be a great good guy once.

As he was even called as "one winged-angel" once.

"because sometimes in the future or present, 'once upon a time' just sounds so fucking funnah or small silly matters you dont wish to know or remember", unless if you`re gossiping ;)

Let's

2010-11-07T13:40:00.001+08:00

and again, let's start from scratch, again.

Story 37 qwerty 36

2010-11-07T13:25:00.000+08:00

a: kau bawak moto tak boleh mcm sial lagi ke bodoh
b: relax la dude apelancau menggelabah
a: bodoh kalau mati tersepit celah-celah kereta sia-sia jek hidup
b: kalau mati, masuk kubur. habis cerita. nnt kita pakai suit putih bungkus pocong

I wish life is as simple as that

a: payung ah bohsia
b: bohsia bapak kau. kau ingat aku kaki bohsia macam kau ke
a: ah selamber je bro kau kan mat hensem payung ah bohsia sekor
b: lu ingat gua takdekeje mcm lu ke sikit-sikit bohsia.cuba kalau lu terpancut dalam dapat anak free of charge
a: haaaaaa dapat anak aku blah lari tinggalkan dia atau aku bleh layankan je dapat kahwin free

I wish life is as simple as that

a: mamat ni la yg dulu tak puas hati dgn aku bro
b: abestu apa lagi jom la pegi hentak dia
a: tak payah bro. dia je dulu yg menggelabah tak puas hati bagai, kalau betul dia tak puas hati lagi tunggu je la dia datang buat onar
b: ceh ayat mcm sial "buat onar" baik lu balik rumah onani. hahahaha
a: hahah tu bukan hobi aku, tu hobi kau dgn keluarga kau kat rumah mengisi masa lapang
b: hahaha mcm pundek. jom la apa lagi kita bunuh dia, kerat-kerat then bakar baru la dia boleh bajet macam artis sikit kan

I wish life is as simple as that

a: wey aku rasa aku jatuh cinta la dengan awek kedai topup tu
b: haaaaa apa lagi pegi la rogol dia
a: kepala bapak kau. ni bodoh series weh aku rasa aku jatuh cinta
b: camni aku ajar kau untuk mendapat cerita cinta mutlak macam dalam cerita hindustan and dapat awek tu cara senang
a: apa?
b: kau pegi pakaikan dia sari, pegi joget-joget dekat padang bola pukul 5 petang karang, nnt aku bawak radio pasangkan lagu hindustan, korang kena saling bertentang mata, duduk bawah pokok main tarik-tarik sari dia
a: dah la weh aku malas nak cerita dengan kau
b: hahahahahahahaha merajuk. wey kau merajuk ke? WEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I wish life is as simple as that

and you know, deep in my heart, I wish life is as simple as that. In many other aspects too. But. You know me, and as i said, always have a big BUT.

BUT bye.

Story 36

2010-11-04T16:41:00.001+08:00

This was originally a song from the strokes. i guess it`s okay for little joy to cover it by adding a little bit of changes of lyrics in it. but still the music is great. and could tell some stories. This is, the strokes - clear skies or also known as, all the hours you ever wanted.

knowing you

you'll wait for clear skies

to tell us how changes come about

with the sunlight

so we'll count every drop that falls

while you throw us some old lines

this will pass

this will passssssssssssssssss

and I'm spending any time

wasting any time

you will, that's all you ever wanted

and I'm spending any time

wasting any time
You will, that's all you ever wanted

Qwerty 35

2010-10-25T14:14:00.002+08:00

hidup bagaikan pusingan roda.

kala di atas kala di mana? di bawah?

manusia bukanlah semua apa? sama?

kalau kau dah start kenal dunia, kau akan fahami maksud semua.

oh btw, aku nak promote lagu je, bukan nak promote cerita lu pikirlah sendiri sebab aku tak pernah berminat tengok cerita melayu unless ada lisa surihani berkemban. bye.

Chakra 202 - Sahasrara End

2010-10-19T04:00:00.000+08:00

Dear self, this is a note to self so that you would pass all of the life exams.

1. If it is an illusion, you shouldn't treat it as a truth. Vice versa.
2. It's like the equation of plus minus operation in math, only a special case one explained;

if - meets +, it becomes -

if + meets -, it becomes -

if + meets +, it becomes +

ignore if - meets -, because it's an error in real life.it wouldnt become +

3. You know what to do.

I graduated - Chakra 101

2010-10-12T23:53:00.083+08:00

This is actually a private practice for me. But dont bother not doing it. Who knows it could repair your insides too. Actually, I've talked to myself alone when I'm doing it. Instead, it would be better if I write it in my second blog so that I could review it back whenever I feel like it and so that I could detect my mistakes, slap my face, and start walking a new path with a new pair of slippers.

In case if you're interested, click on the image to make it bigger. Please play by the rules.

MULADHARA - Base Chakra

1. What can you do to feel more secure in life?
- Being offensive, defensive and ignorant at the same time.
2. Tell about a situation you avoided. Why did you avoid it?
- Running away from some people. Because I have a feeling, and more like a vision, dreams in my sleep that I`m going to hurt and make them irritate like strong acid on the skin. After all, I am a great cause of annoyance.
- Avoiding from punching my father's face. Because I love him.
3. Tell about a situation you faced head-on despite danger. Why did you?
- Been hit and smashed. Because I turned on my protective mode.
- Faced some police eventhough I knew I did wrongs. Because I turned on my "que sera sera" mode.
4. Go fap.
- WTV WTF
5. Have you ever let your lust get the better of you?
- Yes.
6. What is your most secret fetish.
- Never had one. Wish I had a normal taste of sex some day, after marriage, stupid.
7. Tell about when you were the most afraid for your life.
- Do wrong things and had to face the shit.
- Been caught by some undercover police in front of a 7e store. But then got released.
- During the early time when I rode my motorcycle, I hit a stupid dog which makes my motorcycle a pile of sardine tin rolling with fire sparkling like bunga api in the middle of the road. and I am afraid that my father would kill me. But thank God he didnt.
8. Explain your obsession with an object or other person.
- I have been babbling to some best friends of mine about the girl I liked that eventually rejected me, Babbled non-stop 24 hours like a madman . Stupid past-me.
- If some people started a story about Kamen Rider, you know I automatically become a DJ Kenduri Kahwin.
9. Desribe your most memorable sexual encounter.
- Never had any.

SVADHISTANA - Sacral Chakra

1. Tell about your first love, even if she didnt love you back.
- Well talk about first love, we should talk about monkey love which leads to false hope and then the period era of "It takes time to heal" and then I become a normal human again.
2. Tell about a time you physically hurt another person.
- My hands move automatically.
3. Describe a time you were physically hurt by another person.
- For better cause. And basically, I am a living punching bag.
4. Explain your worst addiction. How did you, or how can you overcome to control it.
- I got addicted with Double Cheese Burger McDonald. Then I realise my wallet have some butterflies flying out of it, so I stopped for a while.
5. When have you given into temptation? How could you have avoided it?
- Long longgggg ago faraway in a Galaxy. I slapped myself in the middle of it.
6. List 5 ways to be happier.
-Make jokes.
-Smile.
-Reminiscent of all the sweet things.
-Listen to songs.
-Talk to someone.
7. What do you get excited about? How can you bring that enthusiasm in every aspect of life?
- I get very hyper in trying new things and experiences. Basically, every aspect of life is a new thing to discover so maybe I'll try to be excited in every thing in it. And finding reasons to be hyper about.
8. What can you do to become more creative
- Watch beautiful sceneries, think of an unimaginable thoughts, be stupid and moronically idiot, talk to the wall, and watch cartoons a lot.
9. What makes you angry? Why?
- mostly me myself. because everything goes negative whenever i'm around.

MANIPURA - Solar Plexus Chakra

1. What is your ultimate goal in life?
- Should include the after life too I giess. Succeed in life and after life, I think.
2. Tell about a time you overcame temptation.
- Makan tempe?
- eventhough my mind is crowded with "THIS IS NOT HAPPENING" echoes of voices, I just trying to remain calm and slap myself asking to calm down. sounded so split persona cliche huh?
3. Tell about a time you adapted to unforeseen problems.
- talk about adaptor, I made my electric extension of adapters explore 4 days ago. Alhamdulillah.
- row row row you boat, roughly down the stream, merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream.
4. Tell about a time you struggled to overcome an obstacle, but eventually succeeded.
- I took my motorcycle license, althought there are many obstacles such as the going oh the tembok, making turns, emergency break, doing some rolling 8 spinning, and eventually I succeeded.
5. How can you overcome the fear of failure?
- Fear Factor the television show on AXN? euw creepy
- just swallow whatever that is sour and bitter and not being so optimistic because it will eat us alive. ironic optimism.
6. How does it feel to have a person to decry your opinion or belief?
- Slap them back with what they cut me of, because everything has it's own pros and contras. talk about Contra, I played the game during me in standard 5 which is GREAT and COOL.
7. Why do you think people defend their opinions so much ?
- Because they belief that theirs are so true or maybe they just want to talk to waste their salivas.
8. How can understanding your emotions be benificial ?
- Unstable emotion could lead to the problematic and buggy process just like the machine which creates problems and electric static which could leads to the loss of money and even the life of the machine. I always believe that humans are also like machines. Not like the Terminator - Arnold Doublecheeseburger Stories because they are complete douchebag trying to kill each other because they want to evade Sandwiches from extinct in the future.
9. How can you better understand your emotions?
- Always talk to self and control whatever shit making noises in your brain and asking "what do you think, number 1?" and "Number 2, what would you wanna do in this situation?" and so on, yeah just like Naruto trying to control his Kyubi from freaking break free.

ANAHATA - The Heart Chakra

1. How can you show more compassion towards others?
- By fake body languages and expressions and also words so that people will know that we actually are close with them. And sometimes, I prefer being silent and help whenever I want to and leave whenever I want to.
2. What is something that you can wholly devote yourself to?
- Nothing. Let's talk about hobbies, studies, religion, I really mean it. I cant wholly devote myself in any of it because, I cant. Its not like I dont want to, but it's like I want to but something is always on the way. I'm trying.
3. Tell about a time someone you love did something terrible, yet you still loved them.
- I love my cats although they like to scratch and bite me till I bleed and leave cuts on my skin, but I still love them because they are creepy super cute. I wish they could talk though. sigh
4. Set a goal right now, What is is and how will you reach it.
- Finish studies, get a job, buy my own transportation or properties, get married, have kids, die. By trying.
5. Tell about a time you were rejected.
- I get fucking sad, eject myself from society for some moments, watched cartoons 24/7, punch walls, rarely eat anything, listen to punkrock songs, then I became normal again a month later. eventhough sometimes the blues hit me. -.-
6. Tell about a time you went out of the way for the sake of others.
- I havent done that heroic routines because I'm not a fucking superheroes like Wolverine or Kamen Rider. Although picturing myself transforms from human to an Ultraman is so cool. I wanna be like Ultraman!
7. In what ways can you enhance your physical well-being?
- Going to the gymnasium, inject some steroids, wear a "GOT SOME MILK?" t-shirt, and join the WWE to fight with John Cena.
8. In what ways can you enhance your mental-being?
- Read prayers, read some boring things, and try to memorize things more often to not end up being careless.
9. In what ways can you enhance your emotional-being?
- by taking everything as lightly as possible. because when I take things too well, it might end up fucked up. well, that's what you get I guess when you`re a Leo with a great ego.

VISHUDDHA - The Throat Chakra (OMG CHAKRA HAVE THROATS, IT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME)

1. How do you determine what is right and what is wrong?
- Religion has sets of rule. I tried to follow all, but lead to some being in the right list. And it's all based on experiences, and principles that I was taught by someone close to me; parents, pals, sisters, cats.
2. Tell about a time you turned a negative experience into a wisdom.
- Always be fucked up because eventually you`ll get used to it. And even smile when you meet one after that.
3. What do you feel guilty about?
- Not giving foods to my cats. Kesian :(
- After giving the cats foods, I pinched them like clay or tanah liat which makes leads me to feel very guilty :(
- Making my parents sad or cried.
- I still felt guilty of not crying during salam hari raya watching my parents cried and adviced me to be better and I'm so sorry that your son is so emotionless. I wish I could fake a cry.
4. If you could take back one thing you ever said, what would it be?
- "I love you" - I said this to a Kristin Kreuk poster.
5. What is your biggest regret?
- Dropped out of matriculation and a university.
6. What keeps dependant on others? How can you break that dependancy.
- False hope of anything. I would try to expect the worst could happen.
7. Go play, sing or write a song about anything.
- Did that, did that, and did that too. and uploaded some on facebook and youtube. Go find it yourself.
8. How can you turn failure into a learning experience?
- I did. But most of the part, I forget them. Because where's the fun of trying new things when you`re so wise while you can be stupid and acted very nervously.
9. Write a small speech or monologue on a topic you're passionate about.
- do you seriously want me to sound like politician? lol.

"lets talk about jazz music. i love jazz because it sounds so weird and at the same time it has the healing factors and helps you being calm and cozy. it could make you swallow a pile of bullshits and feels like your surroundings are so 60's in my personal experiences. i especially love the guitar solos and the trumpet part of making me flow away with the music. i've been hearing jazz since 2007 and that makes me a newbie because I am still new in exploring the art of jazz music. At first, I didnt like it because they sounds out-of-tune and eerily disturbing although at that time I didnt found out that heavy riff metal music are as disturbing as jazz is, but when I listen to 'Norah Jones - Dont Know Why' while having a buttload of problems, I felt that my head turned out to be very light and flow away with her bluesy jazzy vocals which makes me listen to her song for two weeks non-stop geting addicted to it. Yes to me, music is like drugs or medication, once it matches to your ear lust and your emotions, you will get addicted to it 24/7. Music is also best known to me as a deep pool of water that creates a way or a fantasized road, as we imaginary swimming in it, towards your real emotions and senses. talk about sense, i think i should cut the crap now"

AJNA - The Brow Chakra (OKAY CHAKRA IS GETTING FREAKIER WHEN THEY HAVE BROWS)

1. Is it better to make decisions based on your thoughts or feelings? Why?
- Can I delusionally create an optional answer, that is (c) Both of the above and give 'c' as the answer?. Because feelings cant give you what thoughts could hand you, and without feelings, thoughts cannot make you go poke on someone eyes when they really deserve the shit after that someone give shit to you, so why would you want to give them a Choclair sweet when they give you something that stinks. And to me, sometimes, thoughts are something that makes someone coward. So, why not making a fusion of both as an experiment?
2. Tell about a time that you benefitted from following your instict.
- I get freedom, a few good and not so good friends, and a few bruises and scars.

3. Explain a dream you've recently had and what your mind could be trying to tell you with it.
- a scorpion as i recalled, i dont remember it being poisonous or not but it seemed like it scared the shit out of me. it maybe means that i have some few enemies or i call it as backstabbers and trying to make a move. well, I guess I smacked the scorpion in real life, for now.
4. How can you learn to think with clarity more often ?
- I shall analyze the "what happens if i do this" or "what happens if i dont do this" and choose what's best for me. maybe it's not that related, but i would like to share a quote of someone i forget "I'd rather regret in doing that, than not doing anything".
5. How can you practice using your "mind's eye"?
- Do you think that I am some sort of Professor Xavier of X-Men or what? Talk about mind's eye, maybe it's for "seeing what physical eye couldnt see" because I dont know what the crap it is. Okay I've googled it and it says that Mind's eye is some sort of visualization in memory. I rarely use it because of being ignorant and that makes me a short term memory loss person. Well, to practice using it, i would have to stare to things I want to remember for a while, remembering it's characteristics, it's physical shape, it's sound (if it makes one), it's smell (if it smells), it's taste (okay this is exaggerating because I dont really have to lick whatever that i want to remember) and then try to imagine it back after the staring process. Then, try to draw it with a imaginative pencil in my head.
6. What can you do to increase your intuition ?
- Being logical and make more sense and a little bit of psychic super-hero drama feelings to be used with a little bit of colourful aura generated around my body.
7. How can you sleep better?
- Give me an air-conditioner with 16 degrees celcius of temperature and no disturbance, I could sleep like a bear on hibernation but for 24 hours plus minus period.
8. What can you do to do better use of your both side of your brain ?
- Take out my brain, use it to roll to the bowling pins so that the bowling pins fall down at the end of the bowling lane. okay i'm kidding.
- i already tried to make the best use of it. I played and practiced music, I read, I spill the crap of stupid thoughts in this blog, i dug my nose using my both sides of my fingers, I watched porns, created and practiced self defense art techniques. and I know I am at my limit. maybe brain doesnt have any limits but I'm just too lazy to swallow alien things again.
- or i should lobotomy myself and put an extra processors and RAM in my brain just like the computers?
9. How can you learn to better control of your actions?
- I FUCKING ANSWERED THIS IN THE PREVIOUS SECTIONS, I THINK. I`M JUST TOO LAZY TO ANSWER THIS ONE.

FUCKING FINALLY THE ULTIMATUM SAHASRARA BECAUSE I'M FUCKING TIRED OF TYPING (and because it's practical only by self, and i'll be doing this maybe a several days later because i`m hungry and in need of some food)

p/s: good luck on doing yours. hope this helps a bit on repairing your life. bye

Story 35 and a half AND Qwerty 35

2010-10-12T22:37:00.000+08:00

Please say what you really mean and.

Please mean what you say.

Story 35

2010-10-11T21:51:00.001+08:00

I am so tired.

qwerty 34

2010-10-06T10:12:00.000+08:00

some people happens to be crazy because they have faced with so many bizarre insane things just like a pirate who survived after his ship sank in the middle of the ocean while seeing his colleagues being a cute pile of corpses and the irony of him to not stop eating fishes.

story 34

2010-10-03T06:04:00.005+08:00

this may sound so Alice in Wonderland, but I;ve been seeing many white butterflies lately. On the road while riding motorcycle, walking around the park, watching movies in my room smoking and suddenly one flew inside and landed on my mattress.

and I wonder if it's just coincidences. because I believe in it.

oh no. please not that "I do believe in magic Disney song" playing on the background

btw, nah. a lil bit pity because it's right part is kind of ripped up during the second day it came.

bye

qwerty 33

2010-09-29T05:34:00.000+08:00

"take my will, will you, then make a choose, to be in misery like me or choose to be happy, just like me" - anon

"There are some people that you meet in life that you just know that they are not going to live to be a 100 years old In some ways, you kind of prepare yourself emotionally for that to be a reality." said Dave Grohl. - about Kurt Cobain.

qwerty 32

2010-09-28T05:36:00.002+08:00

something always have something in the middle of it, unseen.

qwerty 31 story 33

2010-09-27T01:37:00.000+08:00

you must have wondered, what make things more complicated and harder to swallow. sometimes it`s others, but for all the times, you know it's , yeah, you know who; it's you.

yeah and this reallt fit in with me right now because I FUCKED UP MY OWN LAPTOP AND EXTERNAL HARD DISK WTF DUDE STFU. this post is dedicated for myself and my genius part in destroying things around which makes me want to drink some teh tarik at some mamak warong. bye.

CULM

2010-09-22T09:50:00.004+08:00

CULM is somewhat a shortform for Cracked Up and Laugh Moment. Especially for this one, a Darth Vader Compilation. you would be wondering "oh how tha duck could i laugh with that eerie silly and cutie black mask gasping for air sounds and that blue lighsaber???". Well, guess what, he will shove and stab a LAUGHSABER into you.

and yeah, an extra inter-frame and then, out of the frame show by Obi-Wan.

AHHHHHHHHHHH come on. Some of you love star wars not how come?.
Bye.

Sex wish list

2010-09-19T09:47:00.003+08:00

This is what I wish right now. A brand new definition of "awek". I wish I could rub your body, masturbate you using sponges and bubbles of soap, makes you hot when I start your engine, kiss you using my butt on your seat, press your throttle like some kind of cow breast, alter your body and size things up according to my lust, hug you whenever I get laid on those bed of tar rock roads, makes you fart of smokes and carbon monoxide whenever you bump on the road. err actually that "fart" thingy, doesnt even turns me on but what the hell, if I get one of your species, you know I'll be smiling even wider than the satisfactory of being able to bang Megan Fox.

Doakan semoga aku dapat sebijik weh. :)

Bai

Raya - Story 32

2010-09-15T03:02:00.003+08:00

a bit of a ramadhan stories;
after around 2 weeks of ramadhan, a good friend of mine we called him as Cicak and me returned back to my hometown for some "rasa berpuasa di kampung halaman". this is a conversation i get after hanging around during afternoon eating murtabak in some random tak-puasa port

Cicak: kau puasa penuh bot?

Me: tak.stakat ni kemajuan beb 7 hari je aku puasa.

Cicak: haritu kan time first ramadhan, aku nekad sia nak puasa.

Me: abestu?

Cicak: ye la kan.aku siap dah sahur makan megi 2 paket, sumbat nasi goreng kat warung then hafal niat berpuasa dalam masa 5 jam before azan subuh

Me: gila kapir sial kau nak hafal niat berpuasa je dah makan 5 jam.

Cicak: haha.pastu esoknye aku puasa.

Me: ni lawak bodoh mana kau kutip ni?

Cicak: sabo la bodoh orang tgh cakap kau potong.

Me: ahahaha ok ok. patut la harini kau tak puasa, rupanya kau period pastu kau nak emo kat aku plak

Cicak: haha pastu aku keranda (tido) sampai esok petang pukul 4 setengah aku bangun sbb shift kerja aku start pukul 7 malam. aku pasang la rokok isap sambil bukak tb

Me: ahahaha bangang dah pukul 4 kau berenti puasa. ke kau ikut mazhab sesat

Cicak: (tahan ketawa sampai tutup muka pakai tangan) hahaha pastu aku tgh hisap-hisap rokok tu tetibe ada iklan ape ntah tb3. bapak die! dia cakap "selamat menjalani ibadah puasa".

if you dont laugh after reading that story, please just accept that as a plain stupid story and not as a joke that didn't successfully become a joke.

well, today is the fifth raya. a death passed by to a father of a friend of mine, and alhamdulillah, here is a story of why I`m saying that holy word:

I worked at a lemang stall where I would consider as helping out a friend of mine and his father because I was looking for work experinces of being stressful and emotional and also busy filling up my empty times in Ramadhan before raya and plus, they need an extra hands for their business.

There it goes. Smooth but rough. Kinda stressfull because I was too sloppy, slowpokey, lumpy and a lot sum of stupidity goes around. I kept being shouted at from his father as whom i would call him a BOSS (no, not that LIKE A BOSS video) which makes me feel so uncomfortable and irritated and eventually turned into a minor heart explosion.

Boss: pakcik dah kata dah ang pi wat lagu tu buat apa

Me: eh abestu dah nak buat cemana, dah saya standby prepare yg lelain, pakcik plak tido terbongkang daripada pukul 2 sampai pukul 4(buat muka blur)

Boss: aku dah habaq kat ang lain kali prepare awal-awal ni tengok kan dah kalut semacam customer ramai tapi barang tak siap lagi. ni cemana nanti ang kerja. ni baru kerja buat lemang, nnt belum ang kerja opis lagi.ni lemang aku suruh ang siapkan bubuh la beras pulut siap-siap ni beras pulut pun tak basuh lagi.

Me: laaa masalahnya mana satu tau sukatan nak bancuh santan semua (then diam sbb dah berangin sangat and trying to find an excuse to escape)

Boss: aku dah pesan dah kerja ni bukan memain. aku ajar ni pun bukan untuk aku, aku ajar kerja ni pun untuk kau jadi anak jantan, untuk kasi anak bini hang makan. ni lepas ni aku dah takda dah.

Me: (diam sambil merempan masukkan daun pisang dalam buluh then pegi basuh beras)

at first, i would just ignore what he said because i thought it was just a small silly chitchat nagging from an old man. but then, after he passed away on the fifth Syawal morning, I reminiscent all of those things that he said. and seriously, i felt kinda sad and sayu because if i knew he was going to Rahmatullah a bit later, I would just make things easy and prepare them accordingly to make a bit of his last dayys very easy. but as you know, "in the end, it`s the what ifs that hurt the most".

I had the oppurtunity to salam raya and minta maaf salah silap to him during the night of raya which I said these words "pakcik saya nak balik rumah siap-siap esok pagi nak raya dan saya mintak maaf lah cik sbb terkasar bahasa, gurau kasar, atau terkurang ajar kat pakcik. minta maaf jugak saya memang slow sikit dan lembab tapi saya dapat banyak benda kerja dgn pakcik" and then he says "takpa lah. takde benda lah. selamat hari raya (with a very calm and honest face).

A few days later during the second to fourth Syawal, he was ill and caught in a cold and fever. slept like a tired very man. I get a chance to see the last of him during the fourth night of Syawal, a scene where he was very calm asleep tiredly and I didn't want to disturb him sleeping, I just lit a cigarette and had a chat his son, a friend of mine.

And the reason that I said Alhamdulillah above is because, I have approved for his apology and I am sure that he passed away very calm, like a death sleep.

Pada kesempatan ni, meminta ihsan untuk menyedekahkan Al-Fatihah untuk arwah Azahar B Osman.

and you should know, there's a reason Syawal month and these asking for apology tradition was created.

Selamat Hari Raya, Mohon Kemaafan Zahir Batin jika ada salah silap. because I know I have made some well-made defects to some of you. after all, i`m an ordinary human making sins as a routine.

and this short note is for Luna, did you remember you texted me with "Death" theme of trivial questions smses during the second/third last day before Raya? thanks for testing me those. I`ve felt the proves of truth behind my answers in some of it. some others are still unknown.

again, Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin.

-rfq

Imargerine 4

2010-08-27T04:36:00.001+08:00

She's going to change the world. But. Too bad. She can't change me. :]

Imargerine 3

2010-08-23T05:39:00.000+08:00

Taken from: http://iconicphotos.wordpress.com/

This is a picture of Quang Duc. You can google about him if you want. I`m not going to explain about the event here. But as you can see, one would let himself burned in fire to be sacrificed in order to give others a better way to live. Or, perhaps, to show a rebellious act, to fight over something that worth more.

You`re in an angle where you can see everything, watching the moment, but faraway from the past, nor the story of the real thing.

What do you feel, joyously, watching him ?

Sorry for the late wish, number 1

2010-08-21T07:21:00.001+08:00

Hello! Better late than never. I hope you are happy meeting me, talking with me, laughing with me, laughing me, got mucked by me, angry at me, disgust of me, talking back about me, talk about me, praising me, kissed me, hugging me, punched me, kicked me, and mostly taking care of me for the past 20 years and for the years more to come.

p/s: I love you.

"and happy birthday, self !" -from number 2

and always will be

2010-08-17T06:41:00.001+08:00

story 31 qwerty 31

2010-08-16T10:36:00.002+08:00

Sometimes you can see how people face their life based on simple things that they do.

This is a story of mine and try to find your own story to get the after-effect.

Aku seorang yang tak reti jaga barang or perhaps, ganas. Tak kira barang apa; kereta, mouse, laptop, external hard-disk, pen and other things, semua akan senang end up broken by me. So to make it simple, aku guna contoh mouse. Mouse entah berapa banyak barai sebab asyik jatuh, ada yang aku campak sebab emotional main game bunuh boss tak mati-mati, ada yang entah tak tau kenapa sedar-sedar je dah rosak, ada yang kena curik, ada yang hilang, ada yang aku operate isi mouse tu utk explore apa isi kandungan perut mouse sebab tangan gatal so jadilah tikus membaiki labu, dan juga mouse aku tumpang minum air milo time aku tengah breakfast depan laptop which is quite dimwit. Ok itu pasal machinery and things.

In a bigger context of life, I would like to talk about relationship, friendship, mothership, and also religionship. haha sejak bila ada religionship lol. People come and go in my life, some stay, some just pass by. And sure thing is that God always stays, but I`m the one running around loose. To make my stories linked up, let me tell you that; eventhough I was created like this, created as a not so good with handling and took care of things, aku tetap jaga setiap barang, setiap benda, setiap binatang, dan setiap orang yang ada di sekeliling aku. But guess what, someday things will just become like those mouses that I`ve been taken care of. It will end up broken, damaged, stolen, and lost.

Even things that we hold good care of it, will eventually be broken someday. To me, it's kinda weird with a mixture of humorous life jokes. Because I, we, of all people, dont know what the hell will happen someday.

It`s not that I dont want to repair things back to the normal condition, FYI I tried. It`s just that I am just tired of fixing that I just wanna live and let go. Because I cant stand the heat of you know what it felt; when your mouse is broken that you have the urge and wanting it to be fixed rightaway so that you can use it back at the time when you're really needing it.

Call me ignorant, stupid, idiot or whatever you want, but I`m just being what I want to be best at the moment. Rather than crying over spilt milk, or mourn over a broken mouse, I think it`s best for me to buy a new box of HL chocolate milk or buy a new cheap mouse. Hanya untuk mouse dan susu sahaja ok, sebab kalau kereta aku rosak je, takkan aku nak terus beli kereta baru. Aku bukan anak dato' kaya raya. haha. As you can understand, if the broken things are mega-expensive, I would just repair it. If it cant be repaired, just let go. And if the broken things are cheap, I would just buy a new one to replace it rightaway. Just like people.

You know you wont be having a great loss if you lost someone that is so unuseful in your life such as cheap friends, cheap family members. You wont even be having any profits of keeping them in your life because they will always end up putting heavy burden on your shoulder and then runaway like a prostitute being chased by the Jabatan Agama or to make it simple, these cheap people could make life more miserable for us. For expensive friends, expensive family members, if you can't repair the broken one, I know you will feel a hurtful punchback of pain, but again, all that you can do is let go.

I dont want to talk much about religion, because you know what is expensive and what is cheap. Again I wanted to insist that repairing the expensive things are better than the cheap one. Eventhough one day, even the expensive things will be broken again, but the least you could do is to continue your life and let things go according to the wave.

So, have you learn anything old today?

qwerty 30

2010-08-14T07:19:00.000+08:00

Yes I am hard. as hard as a stone. but wait till you meet my ego. no, not that scooter ego motorcycle. ah you know, that kind of ego that makes your mouth shut tight and I dont know what kind or shape it is, but it will hold up all your bodies from saying your thoughts out loud.

and again, wait till you meet my ego. It`s a diamond.

In human, I see these proof:

I`m sure that if I am certain of not doing anything wrong, I can see that diamond inside my eyes. Try to watch yours too.

But, as for me, if I know I have done anything wrong, which my thoughts will be haunted by it, I will let that diamond melt and as easy as the water flow, I'll try to reap what I sow.

So now, please reap what you sow. Within me. :)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2010-08-12T04:00:00.005+08:00

For "god knows how many" times I`ve been laughing like a cat taking out LSD watching this videos. Who knows one day you`ll be a boss, then these are maybe what you would end up doing. Haha.

And this dude has some kind of way of making jokes and create sumthing silly so creatively and a good taste of music, definitely. It`s been some time since I hear to these 5seconds-50words genre which is, Rap song and as the interviewer said, "This has been eye-opening for me". hahaha.

LIKE A BOSS! JIZZ IN MY PANTS

oh yeah btw, you should watch "JIZZ IN MY PANTS" too. hahaha

2010-08-09T02:09:00.000+08:00

He gets what he deserves, after being so humble.

qwerty29 story 30

2010-08-08T06:29:00.004+08:00

today is special. today is not about how i feel. today is all about how you feel. i always wondered and wanted to know how you feel towards me. example: "am i that weird from your point of view", or maybe "am i so offensively a jerk" perhaps "what is he some kind of stupid sily pervert" etc etc.

i always wondered how am i to you. am i that kind of rude, selfish type of moron who would like to scold people around for fun, or am i the one who would create a laugh at the end of my sentence or am i the one who backstab you as a hobby during free time. am i that type who would come when i am in need of help and then go rightaway after i get my prize after winning the hardship.

sometimes i would ask some people of how they think about me and i would end up being ridiculed and sarcassed of buang tebiat dah nak mampus (okay amat gentle kan guna mampus? haha) just because of that "dude, kau rasa aku ni macam sial tak?" question. and then they would continue laughing saying "kau la manusia sial paling sial sial sial sial sial" eventhough i know that`s not an answer.that`s just a stupid joke covering up something and this is not some sort of question of lepak tepi tembok hisap ganja.

and dont lie to me. you, of all human, too, would think of this "how am i to them" idea somewhere, sometimes, because you are also a mere idiot human who would want to solve the misteries of knowing who you really are and what mistakes have you done, if any.

loittering alone at some streets, squatting while a ciggarrette was in my hand, i found this beautiful young lady walking pass through.she is around my age.and i wondered how am i to her. am i that ugly or, am i that attractive to her, does she think of me as a pervert staring at some of her body parts especially her bumpers or, am i that ignorant boy who looses his chance of getting to know a hot chick like her without introducing myself to her and not asking her mobile phone number.

looking at my father's face while he was reading smses from his handphone wondering if i am that burden to him or, am i a good son. i wonder if he ever think of me molding and evolutionised to this negative way once before he got me.

watching some idiot faces, that are, some very close friends of mine, wondering ; am i that important to you or, am i just a handbag you carry around when one day i got old and dirty, you would leave me in the closet. am i that clown who loves to make things merrier or am i that kind of shit to you when once i cant control myself when i am brutally unstable of anger and doing some kind of shit tthings you dont even predict.

staring at the mirror, looking at this ironically stranger whom i used to dont know who he is, and you yourself, do you know who you are?. looking at the stranger who looked back at you, wondering ; am i that good or, am i that bad. are you happy or are you sad. please be rad.

and, about that speech of "today is not about how i feel. today is all about how you feel", obviously, i lied. today is, still, about how i feel.

p/s: and to atika azumi yang bangang in case if you read this, tak sangka kau siap boleh buat post about me. hahahaha super duper bangang. thanks btw. :>

bye

Stroy 29

2010-08-04T17:51:00.000+08:00

It's been bothering me whether to say "pergi lah mampos" or "pergi la mampus" because come to think of it, using "pergi lah mampos" sounds a bit too emotionally covered up in anger. While "pergi lah mampus" sounds a bit neat, tidy and gentle.

And to get to the bottom of the story, I dont even know who am I right now. haha

p/s: that typo Stroy was caused from a quick update which sounds kinda "WTF"

May I implant a good intellectual comic strip in your mind?

2010-08-02T21:11:00.004+08:00

p/s: I dont know who the drawer of this comic is. But for sure, he gave me the nerve to rebel for a good cause eventhough I`m not a good Muslim. So why dont you spread it around, splitting between what a shame and a good name with a black visible bold line. Taken from someone`s facebook. Love and Salam.

Story 28 qwerty 28

2010-07-31T07:22:00.001+08:00

I`m relieved to know that all those hatred are for me. Not a sarcastic sentence, I seriously am.

Swallowing all those prejudice. Swallowing these words through boredom. Relieved.

Because one day, even with or without your knowledge, if you know the real deal out of the story and between my bargain with those dirts, I know you will thank me for that. But I`m glad just to know that you`re smiling now rather than watch you in a gloomy state.

And then, I would be dying to know your answer to "what happens if you`re, me?"

This is. Always. Always will be. For respective everyone's good.

I know you cant read me.

That`s why I`m explaining the description of myself.

I know you cant read me.

2010-07-30T06:49:00.002+08:00

but you yourself are nothing so divine

Story 27

2010-07-29T04:07:00.003+08:00

this was actually a song i got from my friend that he got from his ex-girlfriend.and now I`m listening this for another fairy love tale for another friend. haha. you know who you are.

I hope the roses wont stop blooming.

p/s: good luck. :)

qwerty

2010-07-24T23:15:00.002+08:00

“You have no idea with what affection I am surrounded here, they are not all out to catch the drops of oil my brain sweats out,” - Einstein

Story 26

2010-07-20T21:14:00.003+08:00

Newsflash. ceh tak pasal-pasal. haha. lately I`ve been so longing with some friends. just got back from Pahang with some mates. had a great time and laugh. of course, who wouldn't laugh if your car's tyre explode on the middle of the road in a trip to Jengka Pahang while listening to Siti Nurhaliza's songs. And dont forget about D'lloyd and Bee Gees. haha.

then as I expected, lepas balik je ke KL, dah start rasa macam sial punya rindu celaka punya tak puas hati. and now I`m releasing a bit of the feelings in this blog with a big reality sigh and a big shining smile. almost all of my friends are going to end their diploma InsyaAllah around the end of this year. come to think of it, if I stayed there, of course I would be the same too. okay you could sense a bit jealousy in the air. haha. takpa lah. benda dah lepas, asyik kenang-kenang buat sakit hati pun dapat faedah juga. dapatlah habuan sakit hati.

then during the last Monday, I dreamed of something funny. My right hand was broken somewhere around my biseps. That was the first case. The second was, I dreamed of meeting an old friend of mine, although we`re not that close anymore, during a rainy night, carrying her luggage and plastic bag as if she just went back from shopping. Fyi, I am a superstitious person. I believe that something is going to happen after flashing all those certain scene of my sleep travelling journey. I even believed that something is going to happen if my right eyes or my left eyes and also some part of my bodies are blinking, becoming itchy, and trembling without any of my original controls. And yes, at some point, it really does becoming true.

Remember this? : http://usbthumbdrive.blogspot.com/2009/10/secret-sign-of-happen.html

Okai cut that out. As I said, "I`ve been so longing with some friends". Not just the close one ATM, the truth is, I miss most all of them. I guess, "I am just a life passing by you". An old quote that I love so much.

My egos were stepped down a bit to say this because this came from my stupid silly heart while my brain is giving me the green light to let this to be typed into this very weird blog. I miss all of you. Do remember me will you.

Bye.

qwerty 25

2010-07-20T08:02:00.000+08:00

Same view. Same angle. Same eyes. Different time. Different moment. Different feelings. Different expressions.

Qwerty 24

2010-07-14T22:41:00.001+08:00

that face is too bad for you? well. become a person that it looks good on.

I`m lucky just to linger in your life

2010-07-14T14:15:00.003+08:00

A good old song. Oh you make me smile.

Qwerty 23

2010-07-11T01:42:00.001+08:00

wishes aint easy. you need to think about things you need the most and then your heart will cried out loud saying that "I really Fing need that right now". and then most of the time you will get a slap by the brain that was yelling "ah come on STFU can you stay buried in reality?"

You should get comfy on the pillow that you lied on everynight.